Hey Disha. My parents always compare me to other kids of my age, I’m so tired of it. What should I do? Arsh, 14, Lucknow.
It’s not uncommon
Arre arre, shaant baalak! Take a deep breath and calm down. Cool? Toh, now let’s talk about the issue here. Comparison. I guess nobody here is a stranger to this concept, we have all gone through this at least once in our lifetime. And if you don’t know what we’re talking about, just Google “Sharma ji ka ladka” meme, and you’ll know.
And it’s not necessarily our parents, it can be that duuuur ke chacha or even the pados wali nosey aunty. And honestly it doesn’t matter who did it or with whom, it hurts all the same. So sabse pehle I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Now let’s talk about what we can do to make this better. First solution is pretty obvious, you have to talk to your parents about it. I know that’s the last thing you want to do right now but it’s the most important one too! Tell them how you feel when they compare you to your friends or cousins.
Everybody is unique
Maybe they don’t even know that they’re hurting you so it’s important to let them know. Explain to them that everybody is unique in their own way and that you can’t be like anybody else the same way they can’t be like you. There’s no one like us and that’s what makes us so special!
After this, the most important thing to keep in your mind is to not let it affect or demotivate you in any way. Apun ko ekdum mast rehne ka hai bhai! I mean let’s be honest, Sharma ji ka beta might be better than you in some aspects but that doesn’t mean you’re any less than him. He may be good in maths but is he equally good in sports, music, art? Next time, do find out!
Not everyone wants to be an engineer, doctor or an architect! Some people want to be like A.R Rahman, Virat Kohli, P.V Sindhu, Sania Mirza, Atif Aslam or BTS! The list goes on and on!
Find your strengths
Work on yourself, find your strengths and make them better. Do you like music? Or writing, shooting videos, sports – try some stuff and find your calling. Enrol in some classes and try out everything you want to – guitar, piano, tennis, or even mathematics. Whatever your interest bro. You will end up liking something. So focus on that.
This will only help YOU in the long run and at the end of the day, your parents believe in you. That’s why they push you to do better so it will only make them happier when you do good.
Just like your mummy and papa are different in their own ways, you too are different from every kid out there but don’t stop working on yourself. Look at things with the positivity goggles on and just be you. The rest will fall into place with time.
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#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.