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Ask Disha

I like someone at school but my parents won’t understand!

Hi Disha, I like someone from school and the best part is they like me too!  But my parents don’t understand that this is normal. I don’t want to hide things from them but I don’t want to make them angry/disappointed either. Tarini, 17, Gurgaon.



Hello Tarini and let me start by saying that I have sailed in your boat before my friend so nobody is cheering for you harder than me, okay?

Alright now, little rebel, let’s tackle this together. I get it—being a teenager is like navigating through a maze of misunderstood emotions and parental confusion. Your crush on that guy? Completely normal. But, hey, I know breaking down the fortress of parental worry can feel like an impossible mission especially when you factor in the “log kya kahenge” fear of mumma papa. Fear not, though. Your cool, trusted adult (that’s me, Disha!) has your back.

Breaking  stereotypes

First things first, take a deep breath. Inhale the courage, exhale the teenage angst. Now, let’s approach your parents like strategic diplomats. They might be stuck in a time warp where talking to guys is equivalent to teenage rebellion. It’s time to break that stereotype gently.

Start by finding the right moment. Timing is everything, my friend. A casual setting, maybe after a good meal or during a chill family movie night. Nothing too formal—just a chat between cool siblings and the parental units.

When you initiate the conversation, be genuine and honest. Express your feelings without sounding like a rebel without a cause. You’re not asking for permission; you’re sharing a part of your life with them. Let them peek into the rollercoaster of teenage emotions without making it sound like a rebellious manifesto.

Be casual yet clear 

You can say something like, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you guys about something important to me. You know, being a teenager is like riding a rollercoaster of emotions, and I’m just trying to figure things out. I’ve got friends, and yeah, some of them happen to be guys. It’s not about being rebellious; it’s about growing up and understanding different perspectives.”

Now, they might throw some jazbaat your way. Brace yourself, and counter those concerns with logic and calmness. If they worry about your studies or character, assure them that you’ve got your priorities straight. You’re not sacrificing your grades for a teenage crush; you’re just exploring the beautiful chaos of adolescence.

Remember, it’s not about proving them wrong; it’s about helping them understand. Break down the walls of misconceptions with patience and a sprinkle of charm. You’re not challenging their authority; you’re inviting them into your world.

If the conversation starts getting a bit heated, take a step back. Sometimes, a strategic retreat is the best move. You can always revisit the discussion later when the atmosphere is calmer.

Don’t be a rebel

Sabse important, remind them that you value their guidance and that this isn’t a rebellion against their rules. It’s an invitation for them to be a part of your journey, to guide you through the maze of teenage emotions without dampening your spirit.

Ultimately, my fearless soldier, you’re not alone in this. You have me cheering you on. So initiate that conversation, and let them see the amazing person you’re becoming—one teenage emotion at a time.

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

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