Hey Disha! I have a huge crush on a cute guy in my class. How can I make him my boyfriend? Can you give me some tips! Prisha, 16, Ludhiana.
Prisha yaar! You know what – I am a huge fan of BTS, I am good at studies, my teachers adore me, my parents often tell me they are lucky to have me in their life! And yes, I have silky hair and I also can sing beautifully! Now, you must be wondering what happened to Disha! Why is she telling me all her qualities?
Well girl, I was trying my best to make you like me! Did you like me, especially after all that bragging? I bet no! Because no one can force anyone to like them! It comes naturally.
Nahi samjhi? Let me try one more time. Dude, do you eat all kinds of vegetables – say the really ‘nasty’ ones like kaddu and parwal ( not that anything is wrong with them)? If not, then can anything anyone says make you eat them? Nahin na?
So girl, it’s not really possible to force someone to like you or anyone either. The other person has an equal say in this Prisha! But wait, all is not lost. Main hoon na! How can we give up without even trying! So here are some of my super duper tips to help you!
Disha’s tip no. 1: Dosti first!
Get to know this cute guy a bit better first, Prisha. And more importantly, let him get to know you. Let him also find out what a nice girl you are and how smart and aware you are. Let him also want to be your friend (who knows maybe Bff) and then we can see if you become more than just pals, right? For the time being, put this bf/gf on the back burner.
Disha’s tip 2: Don’t overshare
It’s good to share your innermost feelings with your friends but Prisha, not in this case. Maybe share this with one of your really good friends whom you trust. Your bff maybe. Because if you tell other friends, they will tell a few other classmates and the few others will tell more people.
So now the minute you say “Hey, what’s up?” to that cute guy – the whole class may spread rumours like, “Ohh –are they dating?” “Woah, Prisha and that cute guy are a thing!”
Trust me Prisha, I have been there and done that. It is not a good place to be in. You don’t want to be under the scanner of the whole class, right?
Disha’s tip no. 3: Don’t scare him off with expectations!
Get to know him better. Tell him you like him but just want to hang out with him to know him more. Do not scare him off by saying you want to be the girlfriend. Why? Because you do not even know him Prisha!
Choose a reason to talk to him. If you do not find a reason, worry not. There is no need for reasons sometimes – you are classmates after all! Ask him about Maths problems, or a Science diagram?
So make him a friend first and in the long run if he turns out to be more than a friend (read boyfriend), great. If not, you got yourself a good friend at least! Right? It’s a win win situation.
Disha’s tip no. 4: Don’t lose your focus
Your cute guy likes you and you obviously like him. So you both are friends with each other. I know you may want to just talk to him – ALL the time, on phone, chats and even in school.
But do not forget the fact that you have school, studies, friends, parents, exams and oodles of other things in life too. Having a boy as a friend is just one aspect of life. Set your priorities clearly. Mark out an hour or two to talk to your cute guy but finish your assignments and other things too. You do not want to miss out on something important in life and regret about it later in life.
I know I am sounding a bit preachy but dude, this happens. Don’t want to scare you but I had a friend in school who got so engrossed in being with her boyfriend that she scored really bad in her exams!
Disha’s tip no. 5: Be ready for consequences
So, let’s assume – he likes you too when you share your feelings about him. You both begin a relationship! Enjoy that phase.
However, there may be a possibility that he does not like you the way you want him to or he is just not ready to invest in a relationship yet or any other reason. So let it be. Respect his feelings.
You will feel hurt and bad. But as time passes on, you will feel better and you know what, even have crushes on other people. Don’t take it personally. Move on. Life is really full of surprises for who knows another cute guy might be thinking of writing to me about how he can be friends with you? Haha! Let me check my mail pronto! Till then, Sayonara!
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#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.