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Ask Disha

‘I don’t have a girlfriend!’:(

Hey Disha. Today the last single boy in our group (except me of course) also confessed that he has a girlfriend. Now I’m the last one standing. All my guy friends have girlfriends while I can’t even say hi to a girl without my insides exploding. Help me! Viraj, 16, Gurgaon.

How To Get A Girlfriend

Single is the new cool

Woah Viraj! dramatic much? Take it easy bro, it’s all cool, I’ll help you through it. That’s what I’m here for right? After all, why fear when Disha is here.

Well first things first, there’s no issue in staying single okay? Single is the new cool man. Not many people can do it.  So yeah you don’t need to have a girlfriend to be cool. 

But haan you should know how to talk to girls. They can be amazing friends. I mean, just look at me! We’re honest, emotional (which, let’s be honest, guys rarely are) and you can have a real heart-to-heart without feeling judged at all. We’re practically angels yaar!

Okay okay, getting back to the point, yes talking to a girl for the first time can be somewhat nerve-wracking but they’re only human. They won’t bite! Plus there’s always a first time for everything right? Just be yourself, trust me that’s all you need to do.

Conversation starter

And if there’s a girl you like but are afraid to talk to her, don’t beee! I know I know not great advice but hold your horses, I’m going to elaborate okay.   

First of all, you’re looking for a conversation starter or things to talk about, well you must know something that she likes or you can always talk about similar interests like sports or celebrities. 

And don’t you lie to me Sherlock! I know you must have noticed SOME things in common.     And the second important thing is compliments! They go a long way my man. But don’t overdo it, you don’t wanna sound like a creep.

Once you start talking or get to know each other, it will get easier.

Yes, you may get nervous, especially in the beginning but that’s totally normal. We all get nervous when we try new things and anyway you have to start somewhere right?

You’ll never know if you don’t try

 Maybe she’s as nervous as you are. And It may even turn out the way you want *wink wink*. Maybe then you won’t be the only single guy in your group anymore. How does that sound, huh?

Besides what’s the worst that could happen? You could gain a friend or you could have your very first experience in talking to a girl. I mean who knows maybe you are destined to be best friends. It could work out either way. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. 

And even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not like she’s the last girl on earth right? You’ll click with someone else. Just be cool and have some patience. Think of it as an incomplete puzzle, you’ll just know when you fit. You can’t force mismatched pieces together right?

So just be yourself and try to start a conversation with a girl you like. Once you get comfortable you’ll realize it’s not that difficult. So “Jaa Simran jee lo apni zindagi!”. It’ll be okay.

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

Why don't I have a girlfriend

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

2 comments

  1. #AskDisha
    Hi, I’m Abdul, 15 year old boy, I don’t why I can’t use public toilet if there even one person use this toilet room, I can’t put off my shirt front of any one else even if he/she my parents, I can’t go front of any girl even some time near a boy also I always prefer to stay alone. After growing my beards it’s a big deal to go near my friends.

    I can’t understand is this a mental problem or its signs to become a monk.

    1. Dear Abdul, What you are experiencing is normal. You are growing up and your body is undergoing many changes. You are still accepting all the new changes at this stage, and maybe it is tough for you to see your body undergo so many changes, including the beard on your face, your voice changes and many more such developments during these growing up years. It’s ok for you to feel shy while changing clothes or using the public toilet. What can you do to control this feeling? Well, at present, just accept every change in your body as absolutely normal. It is not something you should be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Just think that every person on this earth, including your friends, siblings, and parents, undergoes these changes or has undergone the same changes as you are facing now! The more you accept this – the better you will feel about the changes and the lesser importance you will give to all of this! You need to take this as a normal and natural part of growing up. The girls or boys you are scared of talking to are probably facing the same changes!

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