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Ask Disha

Disha, my boyfriend cheated on me!

Hey Disha, Ayan, my bf of one year, cheated on me for a good-looking girl. I am just so mad! I just can’t understand why he did that. Am I ugly? Am I not worth the love? Lyla, 16, Mumbai 

Hey Lyla, calm down. So many negative thoughts about yourself in one go! Your boyfriend cheated on you. He cheated. I repeat. He did the wrong thing. Why are you blaming yourself for the wrong thing that he did? And yeh words “ugly” and “not worth the love” – looks like you watched some melodramatic movie? Please do not ever call yourself ugly – never ever. 

I know how you feel. Trust me, we have all been through these heartbreaks. It feels horrible. But, girl,  trust me, it will get better. Abhi bro, you must be feeling that your life is doomed now, nothing good is ever going to happen. But this will change girl if you follow some Disha ka Gyan!  

So get ready for some Disha Baba ke tips on how to handle a heartbreak: 

Tip 1: Don’t fight the feeling

You’ve had a bad thing happen to you, and it will take time for you to recover. Take a deep breath and accept that things will be bad for a while. This does not imply that you must like it or agree with it. It simply means don’t fight something you can’t change. Instead, concentrate on healing your heart. And get this fact straight – it did not happen because of you! You are not to be blamed. So get over the guilt factor. 

Tip 2: Prioritise yourself 

Take care of yourself because you are the most important person in this situation. Eat your favourite foods ( yes, I know you lost that appetite but even for ice cream?), watch your favourite movies, or engage in your preferred activities. Try not to make yourself feel worse than you already feel. Your heart is probably a little bruised, and it doesn’t need any more abuse. That makes sense, right? 

Tip 3: Maintain your composure 

It’s tempting to lose your cool and send angry texts just like people do in movies, but take a moment to calm down before you do anything. It’s not worth it to get yourself into trouble by messing with anyone. Leave the dramatic public displays of rage to the movies and let it all out at your jog, or while dancing to a killer playlist, instead.

Tip 4: Make no decisions based on fear

Should you leave them or stay with them? It’s a tough choice. You must do what feels right. If you want to give a second chance, your choice. If not, it’s absolutely okay too, bro. But don’t let fear make your choice for you. 

It’s never a good idea to stay with someone because you’re afraid of being alone or leaving someone will make you single again. Allow yourself as much time as you need to make the decision that feels right for you.

Tip 5: Take a break from social media

It can be tempting to put your FBI skills to the test by scouring social media for that person who replaced you or to see what your ex is doing – is he happy with them? Are they posing for selfies? But, please, don’t do it. Not only that, but take a break from social media for a while. You don’t need to prove that you’re still living your #bestlife, and FOMO isn’t what you need right now.

Now that I have shared all these Disha ke tips with you, I hope you are going to be able to stick to a few of them at least; especially the last one! I don’t want you to be a broken-hearted girl for a prolonged period! 

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Please post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

Photo: Shutterstock/Person in the photo is a model. Names changed. 

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

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