Hi Disha, I am 16 and have never had a boyfriend. But people don’t even believe me sometimes. Why is being single considered so boring and weird? Tanisha, Kanpur. 

OMG Tanisha. I can relate to you! I mean there was a time when people asked me about my boyfriend and I told them, bro, i want to focus on my studies and so I am single and people reacted like you just revealed a secret plot twist? “Really? But how?” “Are you sure?”
“Koi toh hoga.” As if a boyfriend is like Aadhaar – everyone must have one. 

But don’t worry, you Disha baba is here! I will tell you exactly what to do in such situations and how to handle them. But first off, let’s get one thing clear – not having a boyfriend or girlfriend is completely okay. You are NOT boring or weird. And no, you are not “missing out on life”. Okay. Deep breath taken. Now let’s talk.

The same old script

One major reason for this reaction is society’s obsession with relationships. Movies, reels, cousins, even random aunties have taught us that if you’re not dating, your life must be… empty. Tragic. Background music missing. 

Life is shown as a straight path where romance is a compulsory milestone. 

So when someone is happily single, people panic. System error. Page not found. Not because being single is wrong, but because it challenges what they have been taught is normal.

What they hear vs what you mean

People confuse being single with being lonely. Single is a status. Lonely is a feeling. They are not twins. At best, they’re distant cousins.

You can be single and focused on yourself, busy building your life, enjoying friendships, and liking your own company. 

And plot twist: People in relationships can be lonely too. Yes. Even with matching WhatsApp wallpapers.

Among teens, comfort with being alone is often misunderstood. Think of the person who always needs to be talking to someone, crushing on someone, or texting someone. Silence makes them uncomfortable. 

Now think of someone who is okay spending time alone, listening to music, studying, or just existing peacefully. 

The first person might assume the second is lonely, when actually they are simply comfortable with themselves. Unfortunately, self-comfort is rarely celebrated, so it gets treated as a problem.

Label lagao, please

Ever notice how some people can’t be alone for five minutes? They need someone to text. Someone to crush on. Someone to update.

Silence scares them. Now imagine someone who is okay sitting alone, studying, listening to music, or just existing without constant notifications.

Guess who gets labelled “sad”? Yep. The peaceful one. Because being comfortable with yourself is still very underrated.

People love labels. Single. Taken. Complicated. It helps them relax. When you don’t fit neatly into a box, they don’t know what to do with you. So instead of questioning the system, they question you.

But life isn’t a Google Form you must fill correctly. There is no relationship syllabus.Some people date early. Some people focus on goals. Some people don’t want the headache right now. Some people just… don’t want one. All normal.

The idea that everyone must reach the “relationship chapter” at the same time is completely made up.

Why they low-key can’t handle you

Here’s the real reason. When you’re single and fine with it, it makes others uncomfortable. It quietly asks a dangerous question: “What if happiness doesn’t need a relationship?” Instead of thinking about that, people joke, tease, or say, “You’ll change your mind.” Much easier.

Final reality check

Being single is not weird. It’s not a waiting room. It’s not a defect. It’s just a phase of life. Or a choice. Or both. You don’t owe anyone a boyfriend. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
And you definitely don’t owe society a love story at 16. You’re fine. The system is just dramatic.

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information.