‘Do all boys do it?’
Rohan (13) overheard the word masturbation at school and was clueless what it meant and why his seniors assumed that all people of his age do it. He comes home and catches his elder brother Reyansh off guard with his curiosity. Did he get answers to all his questions?
The senior group talk
Eighth graders Rohan and Viren had just stepped inside the changing room. Their team had won today’s football match. Everyone was celebrating. As they walked in, they saw a group of seniors laughing hard and knocking on a washroom door.
“Aryan, what is taking you so long? Are you masturbating inside?” Kevin said and the group erupted into another burst of laughter.
“Hey I was hardly in for five minutes”, an angry looking Aryan came out and lashed. “And, not everyone uses the changing room washrooms for it,” he added, teasing Kevin on a lighter note.
“Shhh…stop talking so loudly. Kids are around”, Aditya said, pointing at the 8th graders. Kevin winked at his group and added, “I bet they do too!” and everyone rushed out laughing.
Rohan looked at Viren and asked, “What were they talking about bhai? What do we do?”
Viren was quick to catch on and responded, “Silly, they’re talking about masturbation”.
“Ahh,” nodded Rohan, not quite sure what it meant but he didn’t want to look stupid.
Big bro to the rescue
Back home, after dinner, Rohan approached his cousin Reyhan sheepishly. They were very close and the best of buddies. Reyhan was in his first year of college and Rohan’s go to person for almost everything.
“Bhaiya, what is masturbation?” Caught off guard, Reyhan almost choked on the peanuts he was munching while working on his school project on the laptop. But he immediately realised his little brother needed help, and a little knowledge.
“Ahh.. so who’s been talking to you about masturbation?” asked Reyhan, putting his laptop down. Rohan narrated the earlier conversation at school.
“Hmm.. well, Rohan, masturbation is a very natural tendency where both boys and girls enjoy touching their own private parts and derive a special kind of pleasure by doing that. It is perfectly normal, nothing harmful”, Reyhan explained in a very matter of fact tone.
Who does it?
“Oh really!?” Rohan clearly had no prior knowledge on the topic. “But I still don’t get it, why was he saying we might be doing it too?” Rohan looked puzzled. Reyhan smiled, “Well you see what they meant many adolescents start exploring their bodies around your age. Some start early and some late. But almost everyone is curious about their bodies and it’s perfectly normal.”
“Ahh, that’s what they meant, yes now I get it, thanks Bhaiya!” said Rohan, feeling enlightened.
Reyhan thought it best to tell Rohan a few things since they were talking about masturbation anyway and he did not want his brother to gather wrong information and ideas from his friends.
Don’t forget to check out our podcast – Is it ok to masturbate?
Rohan nodded.
“Remember, it is your body and you have every right to touch yourself whichever way you like and feel good about it but no one else should touch you the same way, not even me or your closest friends. Except of course Mom and Dad, if they need to, or a doctor if you have a problem, but again in the presence of your parents.”
“Yes yes I get it Reyhan Bhaiya” assured Rohan. Just when Reyhan thought he’d been a good helpful big brother and was mentally patting himself on the back, Rohan asked, “Bhaiya do you masturbate?”
How does it feel?
Whoops! It’s best to be honest, thought Reyhan. “Like I said Rohan, most people do, so… but since it’s a very private thing I hope you are okay if I don”t wish to discuss it in detail.”
“Sure Bhaiya, I was just wondering how it feels”, said Rohan, genuinely curious.
“Well, when someone touches their genitals or fondles them, it may lead to a physical sensation called arousal. In boys, we can feel the penis harden and grow big. Sometimes you may feel an even more intense, pleasurable sensation, which might lead to a whitish fluid called semen being released from the penis. This is called ejaculation.”
“Thanks Bhai. That’s useful to know for when I, I mean, If I…. well you know what I mean!” Rohan blurted out.
Reyhan smiled and said, “Remember bhai, there’s nothing wrong in exploring your own body and discovering what makes you feel good.. it’s all a very natural and normal part of growing up and it is harmless. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty or embarrassed about it as long as you do it private”.
“Thanks Bhaiya! I’m so glad I have you at home to discuss all these things with! While I know I can always talk to Mom and Dad about anything, sometimes I find it easier to talk to you!” said Rohan. He felt truly lucky.
“What are brothers for!” smiled Reyhan. “Now go off to bed, don’t you have school tomorrow.. goodnight.” And with that Reyhan turned the lights off and went back to his room to finish his presentation.
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I was in relationship last month he said he also had crush on me everything was going well he never asked for my pics, he never put pressure on me to call him but suddenly I don’t know what happened he stopped talking or texting when I asked the reason his friend said that his chats with you are caught and his parents scolded him that’s why he had blocked you then said okay maybe there is something serious if he’s not talking. After 2 weeks I texted him on another application and he explained this and that then everything was normal for 1 week then again 1 day he blocked me suddenly and started ignoring me at school too. Now I just want to know why is he doing so. I’m not able to focus on my studies but I can’t he on my mind always. I want to know if everything is over from his side. I don’t have guts to talk to him face to face and everytime I came across him he change his way and move to another way.
Dear Bhawana, Looks like he is not ready to be friends with you right now. His parents might have found out and they did not clearly like it! Just give him some time – you be on our own and set him free. If possible, you should send him a message through a common friend or through any other medium that you are breaking up with him to give both of you some more time – maybe write a note or text him. It will be good for your mental health dear! Just let him figure out things at his end. If its meant to be – it will be. Else, let go!