#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.
Hey Disha! I liked one guy in class and only shared it with my best friend. Now she has told my secret to everyone and that guy too! She has also told everyone some mean things I said about teachers in the past. Now everyone thinks of me as a ‘bigdi hui ladki’. And I hate her now! Jiya, 15, Delhi
No big deal
Jiya yaar, bas itni si baat? And you are using such big words like — ‘hate her’! Worry not, main hoon na! First things first you have done nothing wrong. Liking someone – boy or a girl – is perfectly normal. We all have feelings, right. So chill girl!
Now about the mean things you said about your teachers…I guess you must be really annoyed and you shared your feelings with your best friend. You vented out. And it was supposed to remain between the two of you. Right? I know it hurts. But don’t panic Jiya. You did not harm anyone and the rest we can resolve.
She is, not you!
But first, I want to talk about your friend who you trusted. If there is any such thing as “spoilt girl”, she is the one. Now tell me what does being spoilt mean? Being extra smart – and not in a nice way – right? Who is that here? She is. She breached your trust.
So spoilt – that she won your trust, heard your story, took full interest in it and mauka miltey hee went and told your secret to everyone.
That is the trait of spoiled behaviour if you ask me. She used your trust, rather abused it. If there is anyone spoiled here, it’s her! She is the bigdi hui ladki dude! Not you!
Go get him
So, what are you going to do now? First, talk to that guy. Yes, I know it’s tough. But darr ke aage jeet hai! Just tell him the real story that you like him as a person because of his qualities and you shared this with your best friend – as a secret.
Trust me girl, that guy will be on cloud nine when you tell him this. Who doesn’t want to be liked by someone?
Come think about it, it would have probably taken you ages to tell this to your guy that you like him. And your best friend just did that! I know, I know, I am being too positive here. But hey, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!
So talk to the guy. Tell him this is not how you wanted things to be. You are not asking him for anything! Just sharing your feelings with him. Then the ball will be in his court to reciprocate or not! I repeat, liking someone is normal, it is not something to be ashamed of. Who knows the two of you become good friends?
Change the chatter
Also currently it’s just her narrative out there and not yours. Once you talk to this boy, and he shares it with his friends and they share it with more friends, your point of view will also be known to your classmates.
Similarly, talk to some of your other classmates about what’s going on, even what you said about the teachers. Tell them you were just venting on a bad day and that you didn’t mean to disrespect them. Again, once a few friends know your side of things and share it further on, what your friend said to them earlier is no longer the only word in town.
Your story is out there too and that too in your own words. People will still feel what they want to feel but at least you know you have had your say and those who care about you will get to know the real you.
And in the future, Jiya yaar, for your confidence, unfriend this dost who has no respect for you. And all of you reading this column and Jiya, learn a lesson. Choose your friends wisely.
Gossip lovers and cheaters people come in all genders, shapes and sizes. Jiya, I repeat, you have nothing to be ashamed of – she does, along with others who are gossiping about you. You didn’t harm anyone – they did. Problem is theirs, not your dude.
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