The laws and physics of attractionBy: Team TeenBook
Aarav, Sara and friend are curious about attraction. Why do people get attracted to each other and how do they express it? They would really love to understand more. Come let's find out together.
It's that feeling!
Guess what! I finally shared my feelings with Rhea. Phew! I was extremely nervous that I almost fumbled. But Rhea was very understanding. Hehe... What happened next? Rhea said we should spend more time together to get to know each other. Isn't that nice? I feel great!
FEELINGS OF ATTRACTION
- As we grow older, we start experiencing new feelings.
- Just like a magnet is attracted to an iron, we too can start feeling attracted to another person.
- You may find yourself thinking about that person a lot. This is called ‘having a crush’. You may also wish to be physically close to that person.
- You may have these feelings for a person of the opposite gender or your own.
- It is completely normal to feel attracted to someone. There is nothing to feel embarrassed or scared about when it comes to such feelings.
- You may sometimes even want to express these feelings through acts of kissing, hugging, holding and cuddling.
- Just remember, it’s important that the other person also reciprocates those feelings and is keen to kiss, hug, cuddle or hold.
The new word
Hmmm… so I heard the word on TV last night! You know that word... the one that starts with S and ends with X.. It’s a bit...hmmm... I just feel a bit embarrassed. But... Wait a minute. What is the problem in saying it out loud? Is it a bad thing?
IT'S CALLED SEX
- As you grow up, you may be attracted to another person.
- It’s perfectly normal and healthy to have such feelings as we grow up.
- There are several wasys to express attraction such as kissing, hugging or cuddling.
- Sex (or sexual intercourse) is also a physical expression of feeling for people who are attracted to each other and want to be very close to each other.
- However, unlike, other forms of expressions, for any sexual activity, one needs be of the right age, have sufficient knowledge and be fully prepared.
- Otherwise one may have to deal with be unintended problems.
- It is perfectly normal to be curious about sex and have questions about it. It’s a good idea to ask these to a trusted adult.
But what exactly is it?
Alright, so it’s a bit like cuddling, hugging. But what is it? It's hard to find out the truth. Grown-ups don't talk about it. And there all kinds of half-truths among us teengagers. It would be nice to have some details.
THE PHYSICAL EXPRESSION
- Sex or sexual intercourse happens between two consenting adults who feel attracted to each other
- For sex, two people come close to each other in a sexual way.
- It is possible for a male and a female (once they have hit puberty) to make a baby through sexual intercourse. More on that in the section on Reproduction.
- But remember most people don’t have sexual intercourse only to have a baby.
- They have it because it feels good to them, just as you do through hugging, holding hands and simply telling someone ‘I like you’.
Yesterday I was watching this TV series and two of my favourite actors finally kissed! I wonder what it would be like someone. Is it wrong for em to think like this?
READY AND RESPONSIBLE
- To engage in sexual activity is a personal decision that everyone needs to take with responsibility and after having full information.
- It makes sense to wait until one feels mature and responsible enough to make healthy decisions about sexual intercourse.
- Any sexual activity should be discussed with your partner.
- It is important to wait till both partners feel ready and comfortable.
- Legal age for sexual course in India is 18.
- Talking about sexual acts may help clarify your feelings.
- You have the right to say no to any kind of touching. You don’t need any reason except that you don't want to.
- If you decide that sexual activity is not going to be a part of your relationship, you may still enjoy the most important aspects of a relationship like sharing, talking, caring, respecting and helping.
What should I do?
- Yes, this is the time to refer to your Trusted Adults, who can advise you what to if something similar happens again.
- If they dont know what to do themselves they can check with a specialist (a cyber expert in this case) and advise you what to do.
- It’s perfectly ok to have many question related to sex or any other difficult issues.
- However, it is important to pose these questions to someone who knows better than you and someone you can trust.
- Can you think about who could be these? These could be your parents, elder siblings, cousins, grandparents or teachers or counsellor at the school.
- Not everyone you know may have the right answers to your questions.
- So, it’s a good idea to identify certain adults that are trustworthy to talk about feelings and sexual intercourse.
- It’s okay if you cannot identify someone immediately. Take your time.
Now I know
Phew! Finally someone told us about the S word. And that there is no shame in asking about it. And what a relief to know what it is all about. Instead of trying to make half guesses and without knowing who to go to ask!
Right, if feels better to know that it is ok to be curious about sex and to pose these questions to someone we can trust. No wonder TeenBook’s my favourite website to hang out on.
ALL ABOUT ATTRACTION
- As we get older, we may feel attracted to someone in a very strong way and feel like being physically close to that person.
- Sexual intercourse or sex is a physical expression of attraction between two consenting adults.
- It is very important that both the people have given their consent for sex and are adults.
- For any sexual activity, one needs to be of the right age, have sufficient knowledge and be fully prepared.
- A female can become pregnant after sexual intercourse with a male after they have hit puberty.
- There are many more ways to express our feelings in a non-physical way, such as caring, respecting, loving, helping and communicating.
- It’s a good idea to wait until one feels ready and responsible to engage in sexual activity.
- It’s okay to ask honest questions about sex. However, not everyone we meet will have the right answers to our questions.
- So it’s important that we pose these questions to someone who knows better than us and someone we trust, also known as Trusted Adults.