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My Diary

Are Suman and her bf ready to ‘do it’?

Nisha is worried about her best friend, Suman, who is contemplating becoming intimate with her boyfriend. She questions whether turning 18 automatically equips one with the maturity to fully understand oneself and make such significant decisions. Nisha penned her thoughts into her diary and shared it with TeenBook.

 

 

Oye Diary,

Remember Suman? Today she told me in secret that she’s planning on doing “it” with her boyfriend (it, baba… Sex!). But she sounded unsure, and come to think of it, how does one know for sure that they are ready for sex?”

I remember seeing a video on the internet talking about the legal side of things. Like, the law says no one under 18 can consent to sex. But just because you’re 18 doesn’t mean you’re magically ready, right? It’s like, just ’cause you hit a certain age doesn’t mean you’ve got all the answers.

Also, it’s not just about skipping the baby-making or steering clear of those nasty STIs like herpes, HIV, and HPV. I mean, sure, you gotta be in the know and all that jazz. 

And what about the emotional aspects? Like, how do you know you’re mentally ready for sex? Or whether you’re with the right partner? There are no easy answers, but it would be impossible to attempt these questions without being honest with your partner and most importantly- with yourself! 

I also threw some of these questions at Suman earlier today.
“Are you and your guy connecting on a deep level?”
“Are you both open about what’s going down with the whole sex deal?”
I asked if she was sure that he’d respect your boundaries and choices and if they both genuinely pumped to take this step together?”
She has promised me to at least think about it all. I told her that If she decides she isn’t ready, then it’s okay to say no. But if she’s leaning toward yes, she should be well-informed and have open conversations with her boyfriend. And, of course, she always has me, her friend, to talk things through.

I also shared a really cool poster with her on consent. It was called ‘Picture your French fries, girl!’ and then went on to explain the concept of consent.

– ‘Freely given’ means it’s your choice, no pressure.
–  ‘Reversible’ means you can change your mind anytime.
–  ‘Informed’ is about knowing all the facts before diving in.
– ‘Enthusiastic’ means you’re both really into it, not just meh.
– ‘Specific’ means you’re clear on what you’re okay with. It’s all about keeping things chill, and respectful.

Well, I sure gave her a lot of food for thought. Here’s hoping she makes the decision that’s best for her.

Goodnight Diary!


To dive deeper into Nisha’s life, visit Go Nisha Go

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