Why doesn’t anyone talk about it?
Kavya has finally come to terms with not feeling guilty for some of the feelings she experienced as a teenager. However, it took her almost five years to feel ok about them! She wonders why no one talks about these feelings. She shares three entries (five years apart) from her diary.
Photo: Shutterstock/ELAKSHI CREATIVE BUSINESS/Person in the photo is a model.
Date: 20 Jan 2016
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe I am already 13. Woo hoo, a teenager! I look so different, got my periods, not to forget my breasts are growing, I have hair in my armpits and the very horrible pimples!
I also have a confession to make! I have got a crush on Dhruv. Sometimes when I see him, I even get butterflies in my stomach. Is this normal?
Date: 29 April 2019
Dear Diary,
This afternoon I was watching a teen series on Netflix. Some of the lovey-dovey scenes invoked a weird feeling in my body.
Then one of the characters used a term to describe the feeling as “sexual urge”. I was not sure what it meant. I decided to Google it and read more about it.
I couldn’t believe my eyes as I saw the search results. It said that sexual urges/desires signify an interest, wish, or inclination towards sex related things. Oh My God! I have no idea how I should handle this or what I should do about this feeling?
Who should I talk about this with? Definitely not mummy! What would she think about me? Oh, this is so much harder than talking to her about my first period! I feel so guilty. I am so afraid.
Perhaps I should just ignore this feeling!
Date: 22-3-2021
Dear Diary,
Today I went to Avni’s house. We gossiped so much! She told me she had kissed a senior! Her first kiss! When I asked her to explain this feeling, she said it ran through her body, like a strange current!
So this feeling (or sexual urge as Google calls it) is normal! Avni told me that a lot of our friends feel the same way too. I can’t explain how big a relief this is. It somehow made me feel normal again. Phew!
Photo: Shutterstock/ELAKSHI CREATIVE BUSINESS/Person in the photo is a model.
To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed.
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