Dear Disha,
I’m so confused! My friend said she’s in a “situationship” and someone else mentioned a “nanoship”! Are these real types of relationships or just new Gen Z words that make things more confusing? Please explain!

— Myra, 16, Delhi

Hey Cutie,

Welcome to the Era of Relationship Labels™, where every kind of romantic situation seems to have its own name – and honestly, I’m here for it. Because sometimes, “just friends” or “dating” doesn’t quite cover the messy in-between stuff.

Basically, ‘It’s Complicated’ just got new names: situationships & nanoships. So let’s break it down, one ship at a time

What’s a situationship?

Welcome to the gray area of a relationship. It’s when there’s lots of talking, a bit of flirting (like joking around, saying sweet things, giving special attention), and everything feels romantic – but there’s no label. Not “boyfriend-girlfriend,” not even “we’re dating”- just “let’s see what happens” kind of thing.

So a situationship is basically a “not single but not quite dating either” kind of a relationship. 

You’re:

• Talking a lot

• Maybe even flirting or spending a lot of time together

• Possibly acting like a couple (hanging out, texting 24/7, even kissing)
  

But…

• You haven’t defined the relationship

• There’s no label

• And honestly, things can feel a little confusing
  

Think of it like being stuck on the “typing…” screen of a chat — you keep waiting for something real to show up. But let’s be honest there is no guarantee. It could be a message, or they could simply stop typing and you can do nothing about it. 

Why it happens:

Lots of people end up in situationships because they don’t want the pressure of a full-on relationship, or they’re scared to define it in case it “ruins the vibe.” Totally your choice – but it can be emotionally tricky if one person starts catching deeper feelings and the other doesn’t.

So then… What’s a nanoship?

Imagine this – you like someone a lot. You overthink every text, watch their stories on loop, and talk about them non-stop with your friends. You feel all the feels, but… there’s no actual relationship. You’ve never dated, maybe never even said how you feel.

That’s a nanoship – a relationship that doesn’t really exist, except totally in your head. No official talks, no labels, no “we’re a thing”… just intense emotions, daydreams, and maybe a few flirty chats.

Sometimes, the other person might not even know how deep you’re in.

It could be:

• A crush you’ve barely spoken to but imagine dating

• A few messages exchanged, then poof! But you still think about it constantly

• A vibe you felt strongly… but the other person maybe didn’t even notice

Nanoships are a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kinda deal.They are usually very short-lived, barely real, and mostly powered by overthinking, imagination, and sometimes a good playlist.

Why it happens: 

Because feelings are real even if the relationship wasn’t! Especially during teenage years, our brains love to romanticize. And let’s be honest – sometimes a one-sided daydream feels better than heartbreak.

So… are they bad?

Not necessarily! They’re just part of how relationships are evolving — and how people are learning what they want and don’t want.

But here’s my big-sister advice:

• With situationships – Be honest with yourself. If it’s making you feel confused, anxious, or undervalued, talk about it. Labels aren’t everything, but clarity is important.

• With nanoships – Enjoy the fantasy, but don’t get stuck there. It’s okay to daydream, just don’t ignore real-life chances for connection.  It can be fun – until it starts to hurt. So it’s important to check in with yourself: Is this real? Or just a heart-made illusion?

Quick test: Are you in one of these?

1. How often do you talk?
   A. Daily or almost daily
   B. Once in a blue moon (usually when THEY text first) 
2. Do you hang out or do couple-y things?
   A. Yup, but it’s still “undefined”
   B. Nah, I just replay that one smile they gave me six months ago 
3. Have you imagined a relationship with them?
   A. Yep, and sometimes I think we’re already halfway there
   B. I’ve imagined it 100 times… in my head… alone 
4. Do they know how you feel?
   A. Maybe? We’ve danced around it…
   B. LOL no. Not even their bestie knows I exist 

Mostly A’s? You’re in a situationship – more than friends, less than official. Time to decide if you want clarity or to bounce.

Mostly B’s? It’s a nanoship – a mini crush with max imagination. Totally normal, but maybe it’s time to focus that energy on YOU 

A mix of both, you say? Then you might be in a Situ-Nano-Ship – You’re emotionally invested like a situationship, but the other person is treating it like a background tab—open, but inactive. You feel the feels, but there’s no real action, clarity, or effort from their side. It’s like being stuck in a trailer that never becomes a full movie

Final word?

These new labels help us talk about things our parents never even had words for. Whether you’re in a full-blown relationship, a ‘ship’, or just enjoying a harmless crush, the main thing is: know your worth, communicate openly, and don’t settle for confusion if it’s hurting you.

You deserve clarity. You deserve respect. And if all else fails, talk to your bestie, eat some chocolate, and text me.

Here always,
– Disha

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information.