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I feel so lost

Meet Aditi, a 17-year-old girl, a happy go lucky person with a vibrant personality. Lately, she’s been feeling unsure about herself. Who is she, and what does she want for her future? All her friends seem very sure of who they are and what they want to do. Shouldn’t she have also figured it out by now? Aditi wonders if she’s falling behind. Can her older sister, Ira, help? Find out in this week’s edition of Feeling’s Express.



One evening, as Aditi sits at her desk, she can’t shake the feeling of uncertainty. With a sigh, she turns to Ira, who’s lounging on the bed with a book in hand.

“Ira,” Aditi begins tentatively, “do you ever feel like you don’t really know who you are?”

Ira sets her book aside and gives Aditi a knowing smile. “Oh, Adu,of course I have. Welcome to the club of existential crisis. Population: pretty much every teenager ever.” 

Aditi’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Seriously? Even you?” 

Ira chuckles. “Especially me. But hey, that’s where the fun begins. Let’s break it down. First, tell me what you feel.”

Who are you? 

“It’s hard to put into words. I just feel like I don’t know who I am or what I am. Shouldn’t I know by now?”, Aditi explains.

“Aditi”’,Ira starts, “imagine yourself as the ultimate playlist on your phone—filled with all your favourite songs, from the ones that make you dance like nobody’s watching to the ones that make you cry into your pillow at 2 AM. Now was that playlist made in a day? No right? In fact, you might still add new songs in there as they come out. Finding yourself is somewhat like that too. It’s like curating your own personal soundtrack, where you add a new track everyday and every track represents a different part of who you are—your passions, quirks, fears, and dreams.”

“Wow, I never thought of it that way,” Aditi adds.

Ira continues, “And to curate that killer playlist, it’s crucial to tune into your own taste and vibe, right? That’s what self-awareness is all about. It’s about knowing each song inside and out, understanding the lyrics, the beat, and the emotions they evoke. And the best part is, you call all the shots and set the mood however you like.”

Aditi nods along, feeling a sense of relief wash over her as she realises that she’s not alone in her quest for self-discovery. “So, it’s like getting to know myself on a whole new level,”.

“Exactly,” Ira says with a smile. “and realising that you’re so much more than meets the eye.”

Why do you need to know yourself better? 

As Ira delves into the importance of self-awareness, Aditi’s eyes widen with understanding.  

Ira explains, “Understanding yourself is very important—because it’s what helps you navigate through the ups and downs of life without losing sight of who you truly are. It’s like having a custom playlist for every mood, guiding you and helping you stay true to yourself amidst the chaos of peer pressure and societal expectations.

For example, if you know you enjoy helping others and excel in science, you might choose to volunteer for a community health project. This can lead to fulfilling experiences and positive growth.”

Aditi nods in agreement, “So, knowing myself can guide me to opportunities that truly make me happy,” she says, a hint of excitement in her voice.

“Exactly,” Ira says with a grin. “And trust me, it’s a pretty powerful weapon to have in your arsenal.

“But what about difficult situations?” Aditi asks, her brow furrowing. 

“Well” Ira continues, “ Think about handling peer pressure at parties. If you know that you don’t want to do something, understanding yourself helps you confidently say no when offered let’s say a cigarette or a beer, even if everyone else is drinking or smoking. You stay true to your values without feeling awkward or out of place.”

“So not only will it guide me, it can also keep me on track!”, Aditi lights up. 

“Exactly” Ira confirms “ And it will help you be your best self.”

You are the best of you 

“And once you get to know yourself, it’s important to accept who you are,” Ira says. “It’s about embracing every part of yourself and loving yourself unconditionally. You might realise that you’re really good at and passionate about things like playing soccer or drawing, but maybe you need a bit more work on maths or public speaking. It’s crucial to accept that and not be too hard on yourself for needing improvement in those areas. Keep enjoying and excelling in soccer or drawing while also making some time to get better at maths or speaking up in class.” 

“So, it’s like being my own cheerleader while working on myself,” Aditi says softly. 

Ira nods, a proud smile on her face. “Exactly, Adu. And remember, on the days that you can’t do the cheerleader part,  I’ll be here to cheer you on.” 

As Aditi and Ira sit together, Aditi feels a newfound sense of confidence and clarity. She may not have all the answers, but with Ira by her side, she knows that she’s got everything she needs to navigate the twists and turns of this roller coaster called puberty.  

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