Have you ever found talking to your parents to be like navigating a maze without a map? We’ve all been there. How do you approach them without triggering a lecture? How can you make them truly understand what you’re saying? Well, Ria and her friends Aarav, and Saniya are discussing this topic today in Canteen Talk! Tune in as we find the much-needed answer to this ancient riddle.
The parent whisperer
Ria and her friends Aarav, and Saniya, are sitting around a table piled with books and schoolwork. Ria has been in a mood because she had a fight with her parents. She wanted to go out at night on the weekend and her father said no before even listening to what she had to say.
“Seriously, guys, talking to my parents about anything important is like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded. It’s impossible”, she rants.
Aarav nods along, “Tell me about it. They never listen, or worse, they start lecturing me!”
“I just wish there was a way to get through to them without them freaking out”, adds Saniya.
Suddenly, their senior, Aditya, strolls over to their table, catching wind of their discussion.
He grins and says, “It seems like you folks could use the ‘Parent Whisperer.'”
“The what now?”, Ria asks curiously.
Aarav raises an eyebrow, “Don’t mess with us, Aditya. We’re serious here.”
Aditya laughs, “I’m serious too! I’ve got a trick that works every time. You just need to master the art of communication”
“What art? We do try to talk to them but they just never listen!” Saniya says, confused and frustrated with what Aditya is suggesting.
Aditya just nods, “When you’re talking to your parents, say what you need to say, and then…pause. Don’t say anything else. Don’t blabber. Just give them some time to process it and then let them fill the silence.”
Now Ria is intrigued, “Why would that work?”
Aditya grins, “Because it makes them think. They start pondering what you said instead of reacting immediately. When I wanted to convince them for a night out with friends. I did the same thing!”
Aarav smirks, “So, you’re saying we should just drop a bombshell and then go silent?”
Aditya laughs, “Not exactly. Be sincere, but remember, less is more. I told them where we were going, I gave them contacts for some of my friends in case I wasn’t reachable and asked them to trust me.”
Saniya seems thoughtful, “I guess that sounds reasonable.”
Ria nods, “Yeah, we do need to try something different. But what if this doesn’t work either?”
At this, Aditya adds, “Of course, doing this alone might not work for you guys like it did for me. But I do have some other things you can keep in mind to have a better conversation with your parents.”
“Enlighten us, O Sincere Senior”, Aarav teases.
Aditya laughs, “Sure baalak! To start, choose a suitable moment when both you and your parents are relaxed and stress-free.”
“Yeah that makes sense”
Talking takes two
“My second bit of advice would be to remember that communication is a two-way street. Don’t just hear what they’re saying but actually listen and understand the concern behind that statement. This could help you explain your side better” Aditya adds.
Ria looks impressed, “Wow, I guess I never thought of it that way”
Aditya nods, “Uh huh! And try not to play the blame game while you’re at it. Instead of pointing fingers and making someone feel like they’re in trouble, try to talk to them using “I” statements. This means you focus on how you feel and what you think, rather than accusing them of something.”
“Seems like you’ve really given this some thought,” Saniya says.
At this, Aditya smiles, “I actually have. I had no idea how to talk to my parents in the beginning either. It took a lot of trial and error to make it a success and these tips really helped. And one of the most important things through this is to stay calm and patient”
“But it’s so frustrating sometimes. I just wanna scream”, adds Ria.
“I know it can be frustrating, but losing your calm will only lead to more arguments instead of any solutions. So stay patient, listen to what they’re saying and then come to a solution together. Trust me, it will make all the difference”, Aditya reassures her.
“Fine, I’ll try not to burst”, retorts Ria.
Appreciation goes a long way
“And yes, one more thing, don’t forget to appreciate your parents for all that they do for you. A little gratitude can go a long way. Because at the end of the day, all they have for you is love and concern and it’s always nice to feel seen and appreciated.” Aditya says.
Saniya replies, “That’s true. They make a deal even when I say I love you in my emotional moments. Guess I never thought of saying thank you for all that they do. I’ll make them a cake to show them my appreciation. I’m sure they’ll love it”.
“Well jokes aside, all this actually sounds like something we can try,” says Aarav.
“You did it, Aditya! You made Aarav put the jokes aside. You won” laughs Ria.
The group shares a laugh as they prepare to put Aditya’s advice into action, hoping it will lead to better conversations with their parents.
Have you ever been in this situation? Share with us in the comments box below. Remember not to share any personal information in the comment boxes.