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That's puzzling!

How to break up?

Shagun (16) and Amay (17) have been in a relationship for the past few months. Recently, Shagun has been feeling somewhat uncomfortable with Amay for various reasons. Although their relationship began on a positive note, she’s unsure if she wants to continue with it and is considering a breakup. However, making this decision is challenging for her. If you find yourself in a situation similar to Shagun’s, this week’s “That’s Puzzling” is here to help you gain better insights. Let’s explore further.



Understand the why 

Before you decide to call it quits, take a moment for introspection. Understand the reasons behind the breakup. This isn’t just for your partner; it’s for you too. Knowing why you’re ending things will not only help you communicate your decision more effectively but also allow you to reflect on whether breaking up is genuinely what you want.  For Shagun, it was Amay’s constant nagging and not giving her much  time as top reasons. She was clear she did not want to put up with a guy who prioritizes his parties over her. 


Yes, you can break-up over a text – it’s easy! But should you? It’s best to resist that urge. Choose a face-to-face conversation instead. Ending a relationship in person provides the closure that texts or emails can’t. It’s a respectful way to end things, allowing both of you to express your feelings completely. 

Right setting

Imagine breaking up with someone in a crowded restaurant, with everyone nosy around. Or in your classroom or school? Not the best spot for a heart-to-heart, right? Go for a place where your partner can be at ease and open up. You know the best spots, we are sure! The location sets the mood for the breakup and how it’s remembered.

The honesty policy 

Don’t start with words like ‘It wasn’t meant to  be’ or ‘I am not the best person for you’ or ‘You deserve better’. When you’re about to have the breakup talk, just be real. Tell it like it is and don’t hide your feelings. For Shagun’s case, she said what she felt –  Amay did not give her enough time. 

It might seem easier to make things sound better than they are to protect your partner’s feelings, but the key to a good breakup is honesty. Share what went wrong without pointing fingers or being too hard on each other. It could be hard to hear, but it’s super important for both of you to know why this is happening.

Don’t be harsh though! 

Breakups are always tough, and your emotions can make you say hurtful things. But, it’s important to remember that you once cared about this person. Being honest doesn’t mean being mean or trying to hurt them. Share the truth with kindness. When you talk to them, be understanding and empathetic because it’s a tough time for both of you.

Don’t give false hopes 

Breakups are already confusing, so make sure you’re super clear about your decision. Don’t leave your partner guessing or give them false hope like, “Maybe we’ll get back together later.” Being clear is the best thing you can do for them. It gives them a starting point to heal and move on.

Brace for impact 

Breakups can be super emotional, so be ready for all kinds of reactions – like yelling, crying, arguing, or maybe just shocked silence. It’s important to stay calm and collected. Let your partner have the space to think about everything, and don’t make things worse. How you act afterwards shows how mature you are. However, if your partner decides to not let you go and harass you, seek help! 

Set boundaries 

Decide on how you’ll handle things like returning belongings or whether you’ll stay friends. It’s okay to need some space after a breakup.


If you have decided not to be friends then the best way to break up is – No texting, delete their number, or it’s even better to block it. Unfollow or block them on social media too. Once you’ve decided to break up, stick to it. Your partner might beg for another chance and promise things will change, but unless you have a very good reason to give it another try, stick to your choice. Being firm isn’t just for you; it’s also to give your partner clear closure. 

Take care of yourself 

Share your feelings with a close friend or family member you trust. They can be there for you and offer support while you’re going through this tough time. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Engage in activities you enjoy to help you cope with the breakup.

And remember, healing takes time. It’s okay to feel sad or even relieved after a breakup. Be patient with yourself and your emotions.  Ending a relationship is always tough, but sometimes it’s the right thing to do when things just aren’t working out. Remember, it’s super important to be respectful, kind, and honest when you go through this. In the end, treating each other well is what really matters.


Photo: Shutterstock/Persons in the photo are models and their names have been changed. 

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