Kartik (13) has been feeling a bit different lately, confused and frankly at times ‘weirded out’. How could he like Jiya in ‘that way’? He’s known her for five years and until some time ago she was a friend. But now she has become special and Kartik keeps thinking about her. Why is this happening?
‘Just a crush’
Kartik decided to tell her sister, Kavya (18), to explain to her how uncomfortable he was feeling. ‘It’s just strange Didi. ‘I think about her the whole day!’, he said, exasperated
She smiled and said, ‘Relax, bhai!’ She then continued with a very calm expression, ‘It’s just a crush! It is quite common and can happen at any age.’
‘Crush…hmm…I don’t know. It’s Jiya, I mean!’, Kartik said, responding to her sister.
Kavya smiled again and asked, ‘Ok, how long have you been feeling this way?’
Kartik replied, ‘Oh, it’s been pretty recent’.
‘Hmm…in that case. My first suggestion would be to give your new feelings some time. It would help you understand how you really feel. If this is a passing thought or something more’, she added.
‘Hmm…’, Karthik just kept playing with the keychain in his hand.
They’ll tease me
‘It will also give you the time to figure out the words to share your feelings with Jiya. If that is how you still feel, in a few days’ time’, Kavya added.
‘Share it with her? Never!’, Karthik jumped up from his chair.
‘What if she says no on my face! Worse, what if others find out and tease me!’, he said holding his head in his palms.
‘Ok, ok…one thing at a time’, Kavya said, holding Kartik’s hands in hers.
‘I’d like us to be friends’
‘First, tell me something. In case you do decide to speak to Jiya but she gets upset or turns you down, how would you handle it?’
‘That’s what I am worried about!’, Kartik exclaimed.
‘But I guess, I would have to respect how she feels. And accept it’, Kartik said thoughtfully.
‘I’d like to however say it in words that don’t upset her. And let her know that I’d like us to be friends, whether she accepts my new feelings or not…And that’s the bit I don’t know how to do!’, Kartik cried out.
‘Patience, bhai, patience!’, Kavya patted Karitk’s shoulder.
‘This is where giving your feelings some time would help. You will find the right words once your initial excitement is settled’, Kavya added.
‘Pakka?’, Kartik asked Kavya with a hopeful look on his face. ‘Pakka, chote!’ Kavya said, giving Kartik a big bear hug.
‘But what if she still gets upset or gets angry!’, Kartik said again, getting edgy.
‘Need to give time’
‘Well, she might initially. See, she may not be aware or prepared for your feelings and may need time to digest what you will be telling her. She may also react in a way you might not be hoping for and that’s alright. You will have to give her time to understand your feelings, just as you are giving it to yourself now’, Kavya explained.
‘And this is where how you say will matter. If you force her for a relationship or to reciprocate, she may feel bad. But if you just share your feelings and let her have the time to think and respond in her own way, I am very sure, she will be kind in her response’, Kavya added.
‘So don’t force her, ok. Got it bro?’ Kavya asked.
‘Yeah Didi, I do! Dude, I don’t even bother you, when you don’t want to talk to me!’, he added with a smile, feeling a bit relieved. He was glad he had spoken to Kavya about how he was feeling.
‘Also, don’t worry about what others will think. First, if you are discreet about it, then it is just a matter between you and Jiya. But even if others do find out and decide to be mean about it, try not to let it get to you. It’s really got nothing to do with them’, Kavya added.
‘And then I am here for you…If it gets tough at any point, talk to me. And I’ll help as much as I can. Ok?’, she said.
‘You are the best Didi!’ Kartik said giving Kavya another tight hug.
‘Haha, remember that next time, when you fight with me for the remote or for playing games on my mobile’, Kavya said laughing.
‘Not a chance!’ Kartik said, grabbing her mobile and running out of the room.
Have you ever felt like Kartik? What would you have done in his place? Do you have someone you could talk to about it? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not put any personal information in the comment box.