‘Should I hold her hand?’

By: Nehaa Singh

Going on a first date and confused about what to wear, where to go and many other things? Teenbook has tips for your help.

Should I hold her hand

Need some advice

Samar (14) is excited that he is going on his first date with Ritu. However he’s also feeling quite nervous. Where should he take her, what should he say and what should he wear? He is worried about everything. What can he do to ensure the date goes well?

“Bhai, do you have some time? I need to ask you something” said Samar.  Without looking up from his laptop Shiven, Samar’s older brother replied “I can’t give you money and I ain’t covering up anything wrong you did. I’m still in trouble from the time you broke the phone!”. 

“No Bhai, it isn’t that. I need some advice. I asked Ritu out on a date and she said yes,” said Samar hesitantly.

Looking at Samar with interest, Shiven shut his laptop and said, “Well done little bhai! I’m impressed. You have my full attention. Do the parents know?”

 “I’ve told Mom and Dad and she’s told her parents and everyone was fine about us going on a date. In fact they seemed happy that we were honest about it,” replied Samar.

“Right on! It is always a good idea to keep parents in the know how.  The stress of hiding something  is no fun and getting caught is the worst. So, if that’s not it, what’s got you all tied up in a knot?” asked Shiven.

Got some tips 

 “Bhai, I was wondering how to go about it. Well, I want the date to be special. I need help in planning. I only have a week left!” exclaimed Samar

Shaant ho ja, bhai! You’ve known her for a year. A coffee, a stroll in the park, a visit to the mall, you must have some idea what she likes. And if you don’t, speak to her friends or better, ask her.”

“That works, Bhai! I can totally do that. A stroll at the mall and coffee is what she’ll like. What should I wear? More importantly, any conversation tips? Should I hold her hand?”

“Is this a rapid fire or what? Okay, let’s take it one at a time. Comfort is key my boy. Shower well, wear clean clothes and don’t forget the deodorant.  As for conversation, keep it natural. It’s not like you’re meeting her for the first time. Listen to her, don’t tune out like you do with me! Give genuine compliments. It’s nice to be appreciated but don’t overdo it!”

Shiven couldn’t help but smile at Samar who was busy writing down every detail and continued, “There may be a couple of awkward moments but that’s natural and Ritu may be as nervous as you are. Relax , smile and you can always joke about it. As for holding hands or giving her a hug, take her permission. If she says yes then great, if no then respect her wishes. You can’t go wrong with that.” 

 “Got it, Bhai! I’d like to give her flowers, is that okay or would it look weird?” immediately asked Samar.

“I wish you’d put so much thought and effort for my birthday present! In my opinion, it’s nice to receive a present. Just keep it simple. Flowers are a great idea! Remember to come back home on time and let me know if you need a ride.”

A safety reminder

A safety reminder 

“That will be awesome Bhai, thanks!. I’ll let you know by tomorrow where we’re going,” said Samar.

“Super! Now let’s discuss some safety guidelines. Make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave. You should be reachable at all times. Stay away from isolated places. Take care of your belongings and stay together.”

“Bhai, I’m 14 not four. I know my way around!” protested Samar. Shiven chuckled and said, “I forget how fast you’re growing.  Sometimes things don’t always go to plan. You might find out you don’t have much in common or you may drop something on her clothes or whatever the reason. So chill!”

Samar looked visibly relieved and thanked his elder brother. As he was leaving the room he said, “Bhai, I forgot. I think I lost the pen drive I borrowed from you. Sorry and I love you!” 

“Why you!” shouted Shiven. Samar managed to close the door before the pillow that Shiven hurled hit him and went to find his Mom.

Have you ever felt like Samar? What would you have done in his place? Do you have someone you could talk to about it? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not put any personal information in the comment box.

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