My teen brain followed the simple logic: If it has nothing to do with studies or academics or if it is not assigned as homework, why in the world should I even bother to write it down? Why? And is not the whole idea of cramming up the details of Renaissance and Reformation; of displacement reactions (bleh) and all the sins, cos’s, and tans of the world; of the human reproductive system; of the real and virtual images caused by mirrors and let me not begin with Shakespeare and all those paryayvachi words – enough as practice in writing?!

No? Really?? Mom and Dad, you are delusional I tell you!

My parents would just resign in helplessness and feel satisfied that I was at least putting pen to paper for my studies. 

After a few years, in an independent incident, when I had my first crush and was petrified to tell my folks – I chose to use my pocket money which was a mere 15 bucks at that time (yes ‘ONLY’ 15 bucks for the month. Stop the gasps please. It was around 1994) to buy a journal. It was a pretty journal, that had a brass-coloured lock. It had a beautiful pink butterfly with mauve-colored wings with a little gold dust sprayed over it. It was so pretty! Oh! The dreams I wrote in that journal, of cute scenarios I would picture myself in with my crush. Pictures of how we would hold hands and walk together around the jogging track while discussing our favorite MTV video and the latest song that played on it. How we would go to MG Road Pune and share an ice cream. How we would celebrate Valentine’s Day and give each other roses and let the whole class know that we were meant for each other forever and ever.  And then how one day we would get married!! Hahaha, looking back at these memories makes me smile with love at my young self. 

One day my mom found this journal, and after a forced scolding she made me sit down and understand the similarity between what I was already doing and what she had been suggesting all along. She showed me how the habit of writing had helped me imagine scenarios albeit with a boy – something she did not approve of. 

Nevertheless, it involved the practice of writing. 

Writing – a practice that allows you to put your thoughts to paper. In doing so, you think before writing to make sense of what you are writing. This allows for your thoughts to line up and take up time and space in your head before spilling out on paper. 

When my mom made me understand the concept of writing in this way, it hit home! I have lost count of the number of journals and diaries I have filled up in my four-plus decades on this planet. Today I do not waste my time on thinking too much, I choose to write it down and park it for some time. By evening, the issue that made me write about it in the first place, sorts itself out. 

Here’s how writing can help you too:

1. List your tasks: Forgetting assignments? Never again! Write them down, and you’ll always know what’s next.
2. Get ahead on your college application essay: Start small—write 50 words a day. It won’t seem so big when the time comes.
3. Vent and relieve stress: Sometimes, you just need to get things off your chest. Writing can help you vent without stressing about talking to someone.
4. Plan your goals: Write down your goals and break them into smaller steps. It’s easier to work towards them when you can see a clear path.

Of course, writing can mean a hundred things to a hundred different people. What it means to you; you will only know when you put pen to paper. 

Maybe it means creative writing for you. Maybe you write to create stories or poetry. Even for that, you will have to write tons of stuff to arrive at your final draft, which again will get revised so many times right?

What if you are the kind that writes only for yourself? If that is the case, you’ll see how just by writing regularly, you will discover so much about yourself through the years. Your writing will show you how you have evolved over the years. You will see patterns that keep repeating and things that you want to retain, and others that you need to let go. 

Even if you’re not into writing, give it a shot for a week! It can help you understand your thoughts and feelings—both the ones you share and the ones you keep to yourself. When you read it later, you’ll see how it clears your mind and might even help solve your problems. 

In my experience, writing just like exercising has proved to be one of the most powerful practices. Years pass and I look back at the progress I have made over the years to become so much better at so many things. It could not have been possible without data. This data for personal evolution lies in documenting your thoughts through writing regularly as a practice. 

I would urge all of you youngsters to begin early. Habits formed earlier on in life allow for space to do larger and bigger things in life! 

Kanika Kush, TeenBook’s Parent Expert, offers teens a fun and relatable glimpse into the parent perspective, helping us understand what’s going on in their parents’ minds as they navigate the teen years together. Check out her YouTube  page here. 

Editor’s Note: Say hello to our new column on TeenBook, where we flip the script and give parents the mic! While TeenBook is all about helping Indian teens figure out life, this space is for parents to spill the tea, share their insights, and offer advice as they try to keep up with their teens and survive the wild ride of adolescence. It’s the parent POV you didn’t know you needed!

Dear diary,

Ugh, acne strikes again! Just when I thought my skin was clearing up, BAM! This morning, there it was—a massive zit right in the middle of my forehead. I stared at it in the mirror for a full 10 minutes, trying every filter of my mental Instagram to see how I could hide it. Spoiler alert: Nothing worked.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “It’s just a pimple. Big deal!” But here’s the thing—it feels like a big deal. All I could think about was walking into school and everyone staring at my forehead like it was glowing neon. I could already hear the comments:
“Oh, did a mosquito bite you?”
“Why don’t you use some cream?”
“Wow, that’s… prominent.”

And let’s not forget the dreaded: “O my god, tere pimple hora hai!” Really? Thanks for the reminder, Sherlock.

I almost convinced myself to fake a headache and skip school. I just didn’t feel like facing anyone today. But then again, this wasn’t going anywhere in a day, and mumma won’t just let me skip school for a week!?

So I tried makeup. It helped, kind of. Except now I was paranoid about it melting off halfway through the day. What if someone points it out? Or worse, what if it makes my acne worse? Suddenly, it felt like there was no way out. Why is this one pimple controlling my entire day?!

Reality check

Then it hit me:  when was the last time I remembered someone else’s pimple? Exactly—NEVER. Why would anyone remember mine? And even if someone does notice, so what? They’ll forget in a day, tops.

But convincing myself wasn’t easy. I spent the walk to school debating whether to keep my hair over my face or act normal. Good thing school don;t have mirrors so I did forget about it in a while.

The turning point

Then during break, one of my friends casually mentioned she was trying a new facewash for her breakouts. I decided to share my forehead horror story. Guess what? She just laughed and said, “You’re stressing for no reason! No one notices this stuff. Or remembers it” Another friend chimed in, “Honestly, my skin has been weird lately too. Must be exam stress.”

Turns out, everyone’s got their own skin struggles. The only person obsessing over mine was me.

The solution

By the end of the day, I felt… better. The zit was still there, but my world didn’t collapse. Here’s what I learned (and what I’m writing down for next time):

1. People don’t notice as much as you think. Seriously, most people are too busy worrying about their own stuff to focus on you.
2. Your acne doesn’t define you. You’re more than your skin. People care about your jokes, your kindness, and your vibe—not your pores.
3. Own it. The more you act like it doesn’t bother you, the less others will care. Confidence is a better filter than makeup.
4. Practice self-care. Drink water, eat your veggies (ugh, I know), and try not to stress. Also, stick to skincare products that work for you—don’t overload your skin just because some reels told you to.
5. Find your hype crew. Surround yourself with friends who lift you up. Spend more time with “Chill yar, ignore it, Sabke hota hai” instead of “Haww tere fir pimple ho gaya?”.

Acne happens. Overthinking happens. But I’ve realized that letting a pimple ruin my day isn’t worth it. From now on, I’m going to focus less on what people might think and more on what makes me feel good.

And hey, if someone wants to judge me for my skin? That says more about them than me. I’ve got bigger things to worry about—like my math test tomorrow.

Signing off with a (slightly less stressed) forehead,
Me

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‘I am sorry!’

“Di, can I ask you something?” terrified Gunjan asked her sister after coming from the park.

Her elder sister Namita read the uneasiness on her face and sat next to her, “Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“I’m not sure if I should feel bad about it because it’s my fault that this thing happened…” Gunjan’s voice breaks as she tries to speak further.

“Arrey, are you okay? Tell me what happened. You know you can tell me anything”, said Namita as she held Gunjan’s hands with concern.

“Di, don’t scold me but when I was walking in the park, some unknown boys called me names and I felt uncomfortable. They were saying stuff like:

“psst…those legs look beautiful!”

“Can your shorts be any shorter?”

“Come here if you’re asking for attention!”

“Di, I’m sorry. I should not have dressed like this I guess. It is all my fault! I don’t even know those boys personally”, said Gunjan.

“Oh my God! Gunjan, are you okay? Who were those boys? Were they from our locality?” Namita was shocked. 

“I don’t know, di. I have seen them before but they didn’t seem like they would talk to me like this”, said Gunjan.

Not your fault

“Why are you blaming yourself? It is not your fault. You can wear whatever clothes you want. If people have a problem with that or do something wrong like the boys who catcalled you then it is their fault!” Namita affirmed.

“You know how much I like wearing those shorts but I don’t think I want to wear them ever again. It will remind me of what happened today”, Gunjan was aghast. 

“I’m so sorry this happened, Gunjan. This is in no way your fault. Don’t put this on yourself. Unfortunately, this is something that happens very commonly with girls in our society”, her sister took a pause.

“Really? I am shocked”, Gunjan replied. 

“What did you do when they behaved like this with you?” Namita asked.

“I don’t know. I was just terrified. For a second, I froze. I wasn’t able to understand what happened because it was so quick and as soon as I could, I ran away from there”, Gunjan replied.

“Thank God you are safe!” Namita sighed. 

“Why did they do this didi? I’m so scared to go back to the park now”, Gunjan said.  

“Unfortunately, some boys treat girls like objects. They feel entitled to do something like this and the fear that women experience makes them assert their power even more. It is really sad that almost every young girl experiences this kind of fear in one way or the other”, Namita replied. 

“Did it happen to you too?” Gunjan asked. 

“Yes, many times. Not just with me but with many other girls and women. But you know the worst part, so many of us think it’s the girl’s fault”, Namita said. 

“Yes, I too felt the same”, Gunjan added. 

“If you walk alone, if you dress according to your choice, or even if you do something you like, society often holds the girls responsible for whatever happens to them but it is not their fault. It is the mindset of men who think that they can assert their power on women and treat them in whatever way they want”, her sister said in a disappointing tone.

What can be done?

“But didi, I am scared. What if this happens again? What will I do then?” asked Gunjan

“This seems like a very difficult question. In an ideal world, I would tell you to let them know that what they did is harassment and wrong. But doing so is scary. You don’t know what they might do. You don’t know how they’ll respond”, her sister said.

“If it is wrong then how could I leave it like this and not confront them? How will I take a stand for myself then?” asked Gunjan.

“I know it is really frustrating to be hesitant to do something you believe in. Doing this is usually only safe whenever you are in an open area and are accompanied by multiple people that are older than you who can help you out” her sister replied.

Gunjan was listening attentively. 

“Whenever you experience something like this, let someone more aware and older than you know about it. They’ll guide you and help you with what you can do. For example: you did a good thing by talking to me! As an adult, I understand how I can take up this incident in the locality”, Namita said. 

Gunjan nodded and said, “I wish I could slap them though!” 

“You shouldn’t do anything in aggression when you are in that situation. The logical thing you should focus on is to get yourself to a safe place like a place surrounded with a lot of people and contact your parents or someone older than you who you can trust. If you have a phone with you, dial 100 – the number for police”, Namita said. 

“But I just went blank. Could not think of anything at all”, Gunjan said. 

“Yes, I can imagine. It was your first time. But if it ever happens again, try to remain calm. Call for help. Shout – this makes them scared. Also, don’t get worried that your parents will scold you about going out alone or to a place without informing etc. It is still important to let them know because they might get angry only because they are upset that their child had to face something like this”, her sister replied.

“I will keep that in mind. But to be honest, I don’t like this didi. I don’t want to be in a place where I constantly have to look for clues to ensure my safety”, said Gunjan.

“It is completely alright to feel sad and frustrated about what happened to you today, Gunjan. It is not your fault and I support you no matter what”, her sister validated Gunjan’s feelings.

Photos: Shutterstock/otnaydur/Persons in photo are models. Names changed.  

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