— Myra, 16, Delhi

Hey Cutie,

Welcome to the Era of Relationship Labels™, where every kind of romantic situation seems to have its own name – and honestly, I’m here for it. Because sometimes, “just friends” or “dating” doesn’t quite cover the messy in-between stuff.

Basically, ‘It’s Complicated’ just got new names: situationships & nanoships. So let’s break it down, one ship at a time

What’s a situationship?

Welcome to the gray area of a relationship. It’s when there’s lots of talking, a bit of flirting (like joking around, saying sweet things, giving special attention), and everything feels romantic – but there’s no label. Not “boyfriend-girlfriend,” not even “we’re dating”- just “let’s see what happens” kind of thing.

So a situationship is basically a “not single but not quite dating either” kind of a relationship. 

You’re:

• Talking a lot

• Maybe even flirting or spending a lot of time together

• Possibly acting like a couple (hanging out, texting 24/7, even kissing)
  

But…

• You haven’t defined the relationship

• There’s no label

• And honestly, things can feel a little confusing
  

Think of it like being stuck on the “typing…” screen of a chat — you keep waiting for something real to show up. But let’s be honest there is no guarantee. It could be a message, or they could simply stop typing and you can do nothing about it. 

Why it happens:

Lots of people end up in situationships because they don’t want the pressure of a full-on relationship, or they’re scared to define it in case it “ruins the vibe.” Totally your choice – but it can be emotionally tricky if one person starts catching deeper feelings and the other doesn’t.

So then… What’s a nanoship?

Imagine this – you like someone a lot. You overthink every text, watch their stories on loop, and talk about them non-stop with your friends. You feel all the feels, but… there’s no actual relationship. You’ve never dated, maybe never even said how you feel.

That’s a nanoship – a relationship that doesn’t really exist, except totally in your head. No official talks, no labels, no “we’re a thing”… just intense emotions, daydreams, and maybe a few flirty chats.

Sometimes, the other person might not even know how deep you’re in.

It could be:

• A crush you’ve barely spoken to but imagine dating

• A few messages exchanged, then poof! But you still think about it constantly

• A vibe you felt strongly… but the other person maybe didn’t even notice

Nanoships are a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kinda deal.They are usually very short-lived, barely real, and mostly powered by overthinking, imagination, and sometimes a good playlist.

Why it happens: 

Because feelings are real even if the relationship wasn’t! Especially during teenage years, our brains love to romanticize. And let’s be honest – sometimes a one-sided daydream feels better than heartbreak.

So… are they bad?

Not necessarily! They’re just part of how relationships are evolving — and how people are learning what they want and don’t want.

But here’s my big-sister advice:

• With situationships – Be honest with yourself. If it’s making you feel confused, anxious, or undervalued, talk about it. Labels aren’t everything, but clarity is important.

• With nanoships – Enjoy the fantasy, but don’t get stuck there. It’s okay to daydream, just don’t ignore real-life chances for connection.  It can be fun – until it starts to hurt. So it’s important to check in with yourself: Is this real? Or just a heart-made illusion?

Quick test: Are you in one of these?

1. How often do you talk?
   A. Daily or almost daily
   B. Once in a blue moon (usually when THEY text first) 
2. Do you hang out or do couple-y things?
   A. Yup, but it’s still “undefined”
   B. Nah, I just replay that one smile they gave me six months ago 
3. Have you imagined a relationship with them?
   A. Yep, and sometimes I think we’re already halfway there
   B. I’ve imagined it 100 times… in my head… alone 
4. Do they know how you feel?
   A. Maybe? We’ve danced around it…
   B. LOL no. Not even their bestie knows I exist 

Mostly A’s? You’re in a situationship – more than friends, less than official. Time to decide if you want clarity or to bounce.

Mostly B’s? It’s a nanoship – a mini crush with max imagination. Totally normal, but maybe it’s time to focus that energy on YOU 

A mix of both, you say? Then you might be in a Situ-Nano-Ship – You’re emotionally invested like a situationship, but the other person is treating it like a background tab—open, but inactive. You feel the feels, but there’s no real action, clarity, or effort from their side. It’s like being stuck in a trailer that never becomes a full movie

Final word?

These new labels help us talk about things our parents never even had words for. Whether you’re in a full-blown relationship, a ‘ship’, or just enjoying a harmless crush, the main thing is: know your worth, communicate openly, and don’t settle for confusion if it’s hurting you.

You deserve clarity. You deserve respect. And if all else fails, talk to your bestie, eat some chocolate, and text me.

Here always,
– Disha

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

Hello Tarini and let me start by saying that I have sailed in your boat before my friend so nobody is cheering for you harder than me, okay?

Alright now, little rebel, let’s tackle this together. I get it—being a teenager is like navigating through a maze of misunderstood emotions and parental confusion. Your crush on that guy? Completely normal. But, hey, I know breaking down the fortress of parental worry can feel like an impossible mission especially when you factor in the “log kya kahenge” fear of mumma papa. Fear not, though. Your cool, trusted adult (that’s me, Disha!) has your back.

Breaking  stereotypes

First things first, take a deep breath. Inhale the courage, exhale the teenage angst. Now, let’s approach your parents like strategic diplomats. They might be stuck in a time warp where talking to guys is equivalent to teenage rebellion. It’s time to break that stereotype gently.

Start by finding the right moment. Timing is everything, my friend. A casual setting, maybe after a good meal or during a chill family movie night. Nothing too formal—just a chat between cool siblings and the parental units.

When you initiate the conversation, be genuine and honest. Express your feelings without sounding like a rebel without a cause. You’re not asking for permission; you’re sharing a part of your life with them. Let them peek into the rollercoaster of teenage emotions without making it sound like a rebellious manifesto.

Be casual yet clear 

You can say something like, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you guys about something important to me. You know, being a teenager is like riding a rollercoaster of emotions, and I’m just trying to figure things out. I’ve got friends, and yeah, some of them happen to be guys. It’s not about being rebellious; it’s about growing up and understanding different perspectives.”

Now, they might throw some jazbaat your way. Brace yourself, and counter those concerns with logic and calmness. If they worry about your studies or character, assure them that you’ve got your priorities straight. You’re not sacrificing your grades for a teenage crush; you’re just exploring the beautiful chaos of adolescence.

Remember, it’s not about proving them wrong; it’s about helping them understand. Break down the walls of misconceptions with patience and a sprinkle of charm. You’re not challenging their authority; you’re inviting them into your world.

If the conversation starts getting a bit heated, take a step back. Sometimes, a strategic retreat is the best move. You can always revisit the discussion later when the atmosphere is calmer.

Don’t be a rebel

Sabse important, remind them that you value their guidance and that this isn’t a rebellion against their rules. It’s an invitation for them to be a part of your journey, to guide you through the maze of teenage emotions without dampening your spirit.

Ultimately, my fearless soldier, you’re not alone in this. You have me cheering you on. So initiate that conversation, and let them see the amazing person you’re becoming—one teenage emotion at a time.

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

Oye Diary,

Remember Suman? Today she told me in secret that she’s planning on doing “it” with her boyfriend (it, baba… Sex!). But she sounded unsure, and come to think of it, how does one know for sure that they are ready for sex?”

I remember seeing a video on the internet talking about the legal side of things. Like, the law says no one under 18 can consent to sex. But just because you’re 18 doesn’t mean you’re magically ready, right? It’s like, just ’cause you hit a certain age doesn’t mean you’ve got all the answers.

Also, it’s not just about skipping the baby-making or steering clear of those nasty STIs like herpes, HIV, and HPV. I mean, sure, you gotta be in the know and all that jazz. 

And what about the emotional aspects? Like, how do you know you’re mentally ready for sex? Or whether you’re with the right partner? There are no easy answers, but it would be impossible to attempt these questions without being honest with your partner and most importantly- with yourself! 

I also threw some of these questions at Suman earlier today.
“Are you and your guy connecting on a deep level?”
“Are you both open about what’s going down with the whole sex deal?”
I asked if she was sure that he’d respect your boundaries and choices and if they both genuinely pumped to take this step together?”
She has promised me to at least think about it all. I told her that If she decides she isn’t ready, then it’s okay to say no. But if she’s leaning toward yes, she should be well-informed and have open conversations with her boyfriend. And, of course, she always has me, her friend, to talk things through.

I also shared a really cool poster with her on consent. It was called ‘Picture your French fries, girl!’ and then went on to explain the concept of consent.

– ‘Freely given’ means it’s your choice, no pressure.
–  ‘Reversible’ means you can change your mind anytime.
–  ‘Informed’ is about knowing all the facts before diving in.
– ‘Enthusiastic’ means you’re both really into it, not just meh.
– ‘Specific’ means you’re clear on what you’re okay with. It’s all about keeping things chill, and respectful.

Well, I sure gave her a lot of food for thought. Here’s hoping she makes the decision that’s best for her.

Goodnight Diary!

To dive deeper into Nisha’s life, visit Go Nisha Go. 

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