Photo: Shutterstock/NatashaRamenskaya/The person in the photo is a model, names changed. 

FOMO and Conformity

Pressure can do a lot of things. It can blow a balloon (Good Fun!), but it can also burst a balloon (painful and loud). The atmosphere exerts pressure on you all the time, and you barely feel it. Then again, while you can barely feel atmospheric pressure, there is pressure that you can strongly feel, that makes decisions for you, the pressure that is called… peer pressure!

“So what is peer pressure?” I hear you ask. I know what it is, but I don’t know what it is. Well, peer pressure is something you feel when your peers, friends, and classmates can do something, own something, or know something that you don’t, making you feel the need to be able to do, own, or know the same things that they do. 

Imagine this – You are the only person in your group of friends who doesn’t have a phone, and you always feel bad about it. This feeling doesn’t go away, and you keep on begging your parents for one, even though they say that they do not see the need for you having a phone. This begging that you did was a result of peer pressure. So, now you know. Peer pressure is a mix of Fear Of Missing Out and Conformity.  

Me telling you this will be followed by you saying, “Oh Now! FOMO and Conformity! We don’t stand a chance. No wonder so many people are affected by peer pressure!”. Fear not dear reader, for I will swoop in to help you. This gargantuan team up may be deadly, and we may be tiny compared to its power, but as a wise green Jedi Master once said, “Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?”. 

There! He’s right! We can defeat peer pressure with strategic attacks, and we only need a few. Why? Because this team up is huge, but remember, the bigger they are… The harder they fall! So let’s dive straight into my latest miniature novel- ‘Superior Secret Strategies: A deep dive into battle strategies against Peer Pressure’: 

Remember who you are

It doesn’t matter if your entire class has phones, or follows the latest trends, or knows cheat codes for all the popular games! You may be different from everyone in your group of friends, your class, or even your school; but don’t forget that you are still you. No matter who you are, everyone has a purpose, and no one else can do the same things you can. 

You are you, and nobody can fill the gap you create in the world by trying to change yourself just to fit in. Even if everyone in your class, including you, can speak the same language, you are the only one who can speak that language, and do other specific things that others cannot, and for each person who dislikes you for who you are, there will be 5 people who love you for it.

Does them doing/owning/knowing that something makes it necessary?

Using the same  phone example, does everyone in your group of friends, class, or even school owning a phone make it necessary? If you don’t have a phone, there must be a reason behind it, right? 

Your parents obviously have their reasons for not giving you a phone. Just because someone else has a phone doesn’t mean you need to have one too. 

So when you hear everyone in your class talking about the new iPhone 13, or the Samsung Galaxy s21, remind yourself not to fall prey to peer pressure! The world is moving so fast- today’s technology will be obsolete tomorrow; so does it really matter if you get that latest tech today or later, when you really are ready?

Put things into perspective

Just because you are missing out on the amazing pop-up camera, or the latest in-display fingerprint sensor, doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world, does it? Your not owning the latest gadget or not following the latest trends doesn’t make you any lesser than anyone else, and it won’t make anyone hate you, or even dislike you. 

On the off chance that anyone does begin disliking you for it (I mean seriously, who will dislike you for not having a phone?), remind yourself that their dislike is baseless, and you shouldn’t care about it!

It’s over now! You have finished my miniature novel, and are on the fast track to beating peer pressure! So what are you waiting for? Get out there, strategically plan your attacks, and show peer pressure the consequences of picking on everyone. After that, become a superhero, and teach other people how to do the same things I wrote about, and you will succeed!

Abhimanyu R. is a writer, co-editor and co-publisher at the Paperless Press, a students-led news magazine dedicated to spreading positivity and uplifting news. Check it out at thepaperlesspress.net! This article was first published in the Paperless press. Read the original article here. 

Do you have anything on your mind? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not to put any personal information in the comment box.
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‘Did no harm’ 

I was in class nine when my friends cornered me one day after school and asked me to join them. ‘We are doing something really cool, come join us’, Pulkit said. When I went closer, I saw Aadiraj and Samaira sitting together and smoking. I felt strange and guilty. But I hid my feelings.

They asked me if I wanted to try a cigarette and convinced me that smoking did no harm. I wanted to look cool and be a part of this group, so I agreed. I took a puff and inhaled the smoke. They all clapped for me.

This became our everyday affair after school. I loved the smoke curls coming out of the mouth and wanted to perfect the art. In wishing to prove myself a part of this cool group, I started smoking and began to gradually like it, getting hooked particularly to the smell.

After some days, smoking became a habit. I didn’t know it was a bad one, until there came no day, which I could spend through, without smoking.

Process of self-realisation

I felt very disturbed due to the constant need for a smoke. My grades started to fall. My health started deteriorating. I could feel myself falling inside a deep well. The first step that I took was to pour it all out to my elder sister.  She was very supportive during this time.

The process of self realisation is important and integral, but things weren’t easy. It took me quite a long time to understand that smoking was ruining me, my physical as well as mental health.

I talked to my parents about the issue and with my sister’s help and quite unexpectedly they understood. With active help from parents and my sister, I could gradually let go of the habit that had started dominating my life.

Not cool enough

But my friends changed. They started ignoring me, and when asked for the reason, they said that I wasn’t cool enough anymore. The reason: I had stopped smoking. They would offer me cigarettes whenever I was around and I would refuse. Gradually they stopped offering but turned their backs to me.

Honestly, the temptation was good enough for me to succumb. Smoking is not the easiest of habits to let go. It took me 1.5 years of time to let completely go of this habit. That’s when I realised that they really aren’t my friends. That’s when I consciously began staying away from them. It hit me that what I thought was cool was quite shallow and self-harming. I realised for myself that those anti-smoking advertisements were true. It made me dependent. It made me ill and doing that one thing to look cool took me away from the things I loved.

Who’s a friend?

But I am glad for one thing. Like they say that every cloud has a silver lining. This horrible experience jolted me out of my notions about what’s cool and what’s not. Who’s a real friend and who’s not? And last but not the least I now truly  treasure family. We tend to give more importance to our friends, sometimes at the cost of our family. But it was my family who proved to be my coolest buddies!

Have you ever been in Diksha’s situation? How did you feel? Did you do anything about it? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember, not to put any personal information in the comment box. 

Ishaan: “I was coming back from Physics coaching. It was getting dark, and I took a shortcut I usually avoid. A guy on a parked scooty called out, ‘Oye, can you help me with a map location?’ He looked normal, but something about how he was positioned, blocking the narrow path,made my heart race. My brain said ‘be helpful,’ but my legs said ‘run.’ I didn’t look back; I ran to the main road where the momos stall is crowded and called my brother. My friends later told me that guy has been hanging around several coaching centers lately.”

The “Cool Senior” Trap 

Meher: “I used to love basketball trials, but now I make excuses to skip. There’s this senior, Kabir,everyone thinks he’s the ‘cool’ captain. He started ‘mentoring’ me, but he’d stand way too close. The other day, he ‘accidentally’ grabbed my waist to ‘correct my form’ and didn’t let go. I felt paralyzed because he’s popular and I didn’t want to make a scene. Now, I spend the whole session just trying to stay on the opposite side of the court.”

The “Snap” Scam 

Zoya: “I met Neo_99 on a Discord server for a mobile game. He seemed chill and helped me level up. We moved to Snapchat, and he sent photos of his setup. Then he started asking for a ‘face reveal’ or a selfie in my school uniform to see if we go to the same coaching. When I hesitated, he got pushy, saying ‘don’t be a prude, it disappears anyway.’ I’m starting to wonder if he’s even a student.”

The “Vape” Culture 

Aryan: “At a post-exam party, some guys passed around a ‘vape.’ My best friend, Vihaan, took a hit and said, ‘Bro, it’s just flavored steam, it’s not even like real smoking.’ I felt like a loser with my soft drink. I play football and was worried about my lungs, but I was more worried about everyone thinking I was a ‘teacher’s pet.'”

Beyond the Poster 

Saira: “I saw the posters at school, but the comments on a viral reel about STIs were way more confusing. People were making jokes, but some were scared. I realized I didn’t actually know how HIV or Hep-B spread. Is it just ‘adult stuff,’ or can you get it from the local tattoo shop or sharing a gym towel? I wanted to ask, but didn’t want my parents to think I was ‘up to something.'”

The Newbie 

Tashi: “Moving from the hills to a big city school was a nightmare. Because I have an accent, a group of girls started a ‘meme’ page about me. They call me names in the canteen and ‘accidentally’ spill water on my projects. They think it’s ‘dark humor,’ but I feel hunted. Even the ‘chill’ kids just watch and laugh, which hurts more than the bullying.”

The Scam

Karan: “I got a frantic call from my best friend, Aryan. It sounded exactly like him,his voice, even his stutter. He said he was at a police checkpoint for a scooty accident and needed ₹5,000 for a ‘fine.’ I was about to open UPI, but I remembered he was in a ‘No Phones’ coaching class. I hung up and called his mom. He was safe in class. Someone had used a clip from his Instagram Reels to clone his voice.”

The “Safe Circle”

Ishaan: “I used to think I could handle everything. But after the ‘scooty’ incident, I was a mess. I finally talked to my older cousin. He didn’t lecture me; he just told me he’d been through it too. Having one person who ‘gets it’ made the anxiety go away.”

Tashi: “It took courage, but I showed the counselor the meme page. The school took it seriously, and the ‘cool girls’ had to apologize. I’ve joined the Art Club now. It’s a ‘Safe Circle’ where nobody cares about my accent.”

The last party 

It was a Sunday evening, the day of the after party that was arranged outside at a farmhouse. Almost everyone was coming. Nisha had finally decided to go after a whole day of convincing from her friends. She was really excited, after all it may be the last party of her school days where she could see everyone. The only thing she was worried about was the alcohol.

Nisha was kind of a nerd and had never been to a party, plus she didn’t like the idea of having alcohol either. But since this was the final goodbye to their school life, her friends managed to convince her for this one by a little emotional blackmail and lots of bribes of her crush being there.

It was almost time, so she got ready as her friend arrived to pick her up. They both entered the party together but were soon separated and on the dance floor. Almost an hour later, he friend found her again and took her to the snack tables. What Nisha didn’t notice was that she was standing in the same circle as her crush, Aarush. 

Freaking out! 

She instantly became very aware of the way she was standing and what she was doing with her hands. She looked towards her friend for support who signalled her to calm down so she took a deep breath and composed herself. Just as she distracted her mind, the guy HIMSELF offered her beer. Now she was freaking out.

She instantly went into slow motion inside her brain. Him standing there, looking at her with the cutest crooked smile on his face, offering her the beer. Her friend looked towards her to see what she would say. And her heart almost beating out of her chest thinking about all the possible outcomes. What if he thinks she’s uncool? What if he doesn’t like her after this? or worse what if he makes fun of her?

Cool and rare

All those questions hammered around in her head and without realizing, she replied very confidently, “Oh no thanks, I don’t do beer”, with a smile on her face, as she waited for them to laugh or leave her standing there. 

But, to her surprise, Aarush smiled, pulled the beer back and said, “Oh that’s cool and rare. I like it.” Nisha was dumbfounded at this reply, while all the other people in the group continued talking.

This really calmed her down. All her anxiety about what people would think about it went away as she realized that drinking has nothing to do with being cool. 

She was really happy that her friends didn’t care about these silly things as she continued talking with Aarush with a HUGE smile on her face.

Have you ever been in Nisha’s situation? How did you feel? Did you do anything about it? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember, not to put any personal information in the comment box.

Chapter 1: The midnight grind

Aarav has been staring at the same paragraph of his Economics textbook for forty minutes. It is 2:00 AM. His desk is a graveyard of empty coffee mugs and crumpled snack wrappers. He can hear his dad’s voice in his head, already rehearsing the “I am disappointed” speech if Aarav doesn’t land that scholarship. His heart is thumping like a bass drum, and he is pretty sure he has forgotten how to breathe normally.

Chapter 2: The social shadow

Sara is hiding in the school bathroom. She just saw a notification that Aditi posted a photo from the weekend. Everyone is in it except her. To make things worse, someone commented on Sara’s last post saying her new glasses make her look like a “disturbed owl.” Now, she is convinced everyone in the hallway is laughing at her. She feels sick to her stomach and just wants to disappear.

Chapter 3: The “too much” plate

Aarav’s phone is buzzing. It is his friend Aryan, who is pushing him to try a cigarette to “chill out.” Meanwhile, his mom is shouting about him not helping with his sister. On top of that, he is “on read” by his crush, and he has a football trial tomorrow. He feels like a computer that has too many tabs open and is about to crash.

Chapter 4: Zero battery

Sara used to love the school play. But lately, even the thought of rehearsal makes her feel like she is moving through wet cement. Her favorite playlist sounds annoying, her head has a dull ache that won’t go away, and she just snapped at her brother for no reason. She isn’t just tired; she feels like her “internal battery” is broken and won’t hold a charge anymore.

Chapter 5: The recovery phase

Aarav finally decides to close the book. He takes ten deep breaths and puts his phone on “Do Not Disturb.” He realizes his worth isn’t tied to one exam. He decides to talk to his older cousin who always keeps it real. Slowly, the “heavy” feeling starts to lift.

Your stress survival toolkit

1. The stress mapping exercise

Stress likes to hide in your body. Take a moment to scan yourself from head to toe.

• The jaw clench: If your teeth are touching, drop your jaw and relax your tongue.
• The shoulder shrug: Drop your shoulders away from your ears to release your “armor.”
• The pit in the stomach: Recognize that nausea is just your body saving energy for a “fight.”
• Cold hands: This is just blood moving to your heart to help you “survive.”

2. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique

When the world feels like it is spinning too fast, use your five senses to pull your brain back to the “right now.”

• 5 things you can see: A crack in the wall, a specific color.
• 4 things you can touch: Your shirt, a cold desk, your hair.
• 3 things you can hear: The AC hum, a bird, your breathing.
• 2 things you can smell: Laundry detergent, pencil lead.
• 1 thing you can taste: Toothpaste or just the inside of your mouth.

3. Peer pressure hacks

• The Ghost: Just walk away. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
• The Hard No: “Nah, I’m good” works better than a long excuse.
• The Pivot: “I’m not into that, let’s just go get a burger instead.”

Don’t forget to check out TeenBook’s podcast on How to deal with stress.