— Myra, 16, Delhi

Hey Cutie,

Welcome to the Era of Relationship Labels™, where every kind of romantic situation seems to have its own name – and honestly, I’m here for it. Because sometimes, “just friends” or “dating” doesn’t quite cover the messy in-between stuff.

Basically, ‘It’s Complicated’ just got new names: situationships & nanoships. So let’s break it down, one ship at a time

What’s a situationship?

Welcome to the gray area of a relationship. It’s when there’s lots of talking, a bit of flirting (like joking around, saying sweet things, giving special attention), and everything feels romantic – but there’s no label. Not “boyfriend-girlfriend,” not even “we’re dating”- just “let’s see what happens” kind of thing.

So a situationship is basically a “not single but not quite dating either” kind of a relationship. 

You’re:

• Talking a lot

• Maybe even flirting or spending a lot of time together

• Possibly acting like a couple (hanging out, texting 24/7, even kissing)
  

But…

• You haven’t defined the relationship

• There’s no label

• And honestly, things can feel a little confusing
  

Think of it like being stuck on the “typing…” screen of a chat — you keep waiting for something real to show up. But let’s be honest there is no guarantee. It could be a message, or they could simply stop typing and you can do nothing about it. 

Why it happens:

Lots of people end up in situationships because they don’t want the pressure of a full-on relationship, or they’re scared to define it in case it “ruins the vibe.” Totally your choice – but it can be emotionally tricky if one person starts catching deeper feelings and the other doesn’t.

So then… What’s a nanoship?

Imagine this – you like someone a lot. You overthink every text, watch their stories on loop, and talk about them non-stop with your friends. You feel all the feels, but… there’s no actual relationship. You’ve never dated, maybe never even said how you feel.

That’s a nanoship – a relationship that doesn’t really exist, except totally in your head. No official talks, no labels, no “we’re a thing”… just intense emotions, daydreams, and maybe a few flirty chats.

Sometimes, the other person might not even know how deep you’re in.

It could be:

• A crush you’ve barely spoken to but imagine dating

• A few messages exchanged, then poof! But you still think about it constantly

• A vibe you felt strongly… but the other person maybe didn’t even notice

Nanoships are a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kinda deal.They are usually very short-lived, barely real, and mostly powered by overthinking, imagination, and sometimes a good playlist.

Why it happens: 

Because feelings are real even if the relationship wasn’t! Especially during teenage years, our brains love to romanticize. And let’s be honest – sometimes a one-sided daydream feels better than heartbreak.

So… are they bad?

Not necessarily! They’re just part of how relationships are evolving — and how people are learning what they want and don’t want.

But here’s my big-sister advice:

• With situationships – Be honest with yourself. If it’s making you feel confused, anxious, or undervalued, talk about it. Labels aren’t everything, but clarity is important.

• With nanoships – Enjoy the fantasy, but don’t get stuck there. It’s okay to daydream, just don’t ignore real-life chances for connection.  It can be fun – until it starts to hurt. So it’s important to check in with yourself: Is this real? Or just a heart-made illusion?

Quick test: Are you in one of these?

1. How often do you talk?
   A. Daily or almost daily
   B. Once in a blue moon (usually when THEY text first) 
2. Do you hang out or do couple-y things?
   A. Yup, but it’s still “undefined”
   B. Nah, I just replay that one smile they gave me six months ago 
3. Have you imagined a relationship with them?
   A. Yep, and sometimes I think we’re already halfway there
   B. I’ve imagined it 100 times… in my head… alone 
4. Do they know how you feel?
   A. Maybe? We’ve danced around it…
   B. LOL no. Not even their bestie knows I exist 

Mostly A’s? You’re in a situationship – more than friends, less than official. Time to decide if you want clarity or to bounce.

Mostly B’s? It’s a nanoship – a mini crush with max imagination. Totally normal, but maybe it’s time to focus that energy on YOU 

A mix of both, you say? Then you might be in a Situ-Nano-Ship – You’re emotionally invested like a situationship, but the other person is treating it like a background tab—open, but inactive. You feel the feels, but there’s no real action, clarity, or effort from their side. It’s like being stuck in a trailer that never becomes a full movie

Final word?

These new labels help us talk about things our parents never even had words for. Whether you’re in a full-blown relationship, a ‘ship’, or just enjoying a harmless crush, the main thing is: know your worth, communicate openly, and don’t settle for confusion if it’s hurting you.

You deserve clarity. You deserve respect. And if all else fails, talk to your bestie, eat some chocolate, and text me.

Here always,
– Disha

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

Send me a selfie but… 

Ronit and I used to chat on WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat, and everywhere. Our daily ritual was to exchange cute goodnight selfies before bed. But one day, Ronit’s message shocked me. 

“Love, I need to see you without a top today,” he said. I was totally caught off guard and kept reading the text over and over. My mind was racing, and I couldn’t make sense of what Ronit was asking. Was he really serious? I couldn’t understand why he would ask for something like this out of the blue! 

I tried to convince myself that Ronit must be joking. “Nah! He’s just messing with me,” I muttered to myself. I texted him with a laughing emoji and said, “Come on, I know you’re kidding.” But to my surprise, Ronit quickly responded with, “No, no, I am serious. I want to see you topless, Ananya.”

Shocked and stunned

I was startled and didn’t know how to respond. So, I chose to step away from our chat and logged off. I needed some space to wrap my head around his request and figure out how to handle it. 

As I reflected on his request, I realised that I was not ready for such an intimate step in our relationship. I had only been with Ronit for two months, and I wanted to take things slowly. So, I mustered the courage to reply to him honestly. I explained to him that I wasn’t ready for this yet, and I felt we should wait. 

Ronit sent me a sad emoji. Then he went offline without any goodnight wishes or selfies. 

“No pressure?” 

The next day things felt awkward when I saw him. I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation from the previous night. Ronit, on the other hand, acted as if last night hadn’t happened. He sat next to me not saying anything. So I asked him “What’s up?” He just replied with a hi! 

Curious, I asked him why he didn’t say goodnight, and he explained that he was a little upset because I suggested that we should wait before sharing those kinds of selfies. “It’s like you don’t trust me,” he said. 

I reassured him that I trusted him completely, but it was just something that made me feel uncomfortable. Ronit nodded and said, “No pressure”. 

Are things ok? 

The way our conversation ended last time, I thought things were okay between us. However, I did not receive any message from him at our usual time. I woke up feeling uneasy, wondering why Ronit was ignoring me. He had never done that before. Maybe he was busy or stuck in an unexpected situation. But as time went by and he still hadn’t reached out to me, I started to overthink. 

So, I sent him a sad emoji with a question mark, hoping for some kind of response. But I got nothing. It’s like my message vanished into thin air. 

Did I mess up by not sending those pictures? What if he breaks up with me?

I couldn’t shake off the feeling of dread that was building up inside me. At one point, I actually considered sending him that topless selfie. But it still felt wrong so I decided against it.

No trust in him? 

I left for college early the next day, determined to confront Ronit. I found him in the canteen and asked if we could talk. He nodded.

Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Why didn’t you reply to my texts? I sent almost 50. Were you out partying?” 

Ronit’s reply caught me off guard, “Yeah, I was at a friend’s place. I didn’t see your messages.”  

As tears welled up, I pressed on, “This hasn’t happened before. Was it because I said no?”

But he totally denied it and surprised me by saying, “No, Ananya, don’t make me out to be the bad guy. If you’re having doubts, maybe it’s best to end things.”

Fake love?

It was so obvious to me why Ronit was acting strange and why he broke up with me. I wasn’t a fool, I could see through it all. I was heartbroken and hurt. When I got home, I cried for hours. 

I couldn’t take it anymore and needed to talk to someone, so I confided in my cousin Shamita. 

After hearing everything, Shamita told me, “Broo, You made the right call not sharing those pics. Just like he went silent after you didn’t send them, maybe he would’ve done the same if you had. At least you stood your ground..”

“Trust me Ananya, it wasn’t true love if he had such a cheap and nasty demand. Someone who likes you would never put you in an uncomfortable situation like this. So, let that fake love go,” she added. 

As Shamita’s words sank in, I pulled her into a tight hug. A sense of comfort settled in me as I felt good about my decision and relieved that I could move on.

Shutterstock/Person in the photo is a model. Names changed

“To learn more about the topic, do check out this cool video :

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Need some advice

Samar (14) is excited that he is going on his first date with Ritu. However he’s also feeling quite nervous. Where should he take her, what should he say and what should he wear? He is worried about everything. What can he do to ensure the date goes well?

“Bhai, do you have some time? I need to ask you something” said Samar.  Without looking up from his laptop Shiven, Samar’s older brother replied “I can’t give you money and I ain’t covering up anything wrong you did. I’m still in trouble from the time you broke the phone!”. 

“No Bhai, it isn’t that. I need some advice. I asked Ritu out on a date and she said yes,” said Samar hesitantly.

Looking at Samar with interest, Shiven shut his laptop and said, “Well done little bhai! I’m impressed. You have my full attention. Do the parents know?”

 “I’ve told Mom and Dad and she’s told her parents and everyone was fine about us going on a date. In fact they seemed happy that we were honest about it,” replied Samar.

“Right on! It is always a good idea to keep parents in the know how.  The stress of hiding something  is no fun and getting caught is the worst. So, if that’s not it, what’s got you all tied up in a knot?” asked Shiven.

Got some tips 

 “Bhai, I was wondering how to go about it. Well, I want the date to be special. I need help in planning. I only have a week left!” exclaimed Samar

“Shaant ho ja, bhai! You’ve known her for a year. A coffee, a stroll in the park, a visit to the mall, you must have some idea what she likes. And if you don’t, speak to her friends or better, ask her.”

“That works, Bhai! I can totally do that. A stroll at the mall and coffee is what she’ll like. What should I wear? More importantly, any conversation tips? Should I hold her hand?”

“Is this a rapid fire or what? Okay, let’s take it one at a time. Comfort is key my boy. Shower well, wear clean clothes and don’t forget the deodorant.  As for conversation, keep it natural. It’s not like you’re meeting her for the first time. Listen to her, don’t tune out like you do with me! Give genuine compliments. It’s nice to be appreciated but don’t overdo it!”

Shiven couldn’t help but smile at Samar who was busy writing down every detail and continued, “There may be a couple of awkward moments but that’s natural and Ritu may be as nervous as you are. Relax , smile and you can always joke about it. As for holding hands or giving her a hug, take her permission. If she says yes then great, if no then respect her wishes. You can’t go wrong with that.” 

 “Got it, Bhai! I’d like to give her flowers, is that okay or would it look weird?” immediately asked Samar.

“I wish you’d put so much thought and effort for my birthday present! In my opinion, it’s nice to receive a present. Just keep it simple. Flowers are a great idea! Remember to come back home on time and let me know if you need a ride.”

A safety reminder 

“That will be awesome Bhai, thanks!. I’ll let you know by tomorrow where we’re going,” said Samar.

“Super! Now let’s discuss some safety guidelines. Make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave. You should be reachable at all times. Stay away from isolated places. Take care of your belongings and stay together.”

“Bhai, I’m 14 not four. I know my way around!” protested Samar. Shiven chuckled and said, “I forget how fast you’re growing.  Sometimes things don’t always go to plan. You might find out you don’t have much in common or you may drop something on her clothes or whatever the reason. So chill!”

Samar looked visibly relieved and thanked his elder brother. As he was leaving the room he said, “Bhai, I forgot. I think I lost the pen drive I borrowed from you. Sorry and I love you!” 

“Why you!” shouted Shiven. Samar managed to close the door before the pillow that Shiven hurled hit him and went to find his Mom.

Have you ever felt like Samar? What would you have done in his place? Do you have someone you could talk to about it? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not put any personal information in the comment box.