Heyyy. Very valid question. Because let’s be honest you’re not the only one confused about this one. Gaslighting is one of those words that shows up everywhere. Reels, rants, comment sections, random conversations in school. Everyone uses it very confidently but  … but the moment you ask, “Okay, but what does it actually mean?” suddenly everyone needs water, WiFi, and time to think.

So let’s talk about it properly. 

What gaslighting actually means

Gaslighting is when someone makes you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, or memory.

And no, it’s not dramatic. There’s no big fight, no dhum tana nana na in the background, no moment where you dramatically realise the truth while staring out of a window.

It’s more like this. You’re sure about how something felt. Then five minutes later you’re thinking, “Wait… am I being dramatic?” even though nothing actually changed.

You didn’t imagine it. Your brain is just being messed with.

Let’s say you tell a friend, “I felt really bad when you ignored me all day.”

They reply, “What are you talking about? I didn’t ignore you.”

Now you’re mentally opening WhatsApp, Instagram, your memory, your soul. Did they actually ignore you or did you just overreact? Did they reply late or did you check too fast?

If this happens once, fine. If this becomes a pattern, welcome to overthinking season.

Why gaslighting is about control

Gaslighting is not just lying or remembering things differently. It’s about always needing to be right.

One person becomes the final authority on reality. The other starts collecting screenshots like evidence, over explaining feelings, and practising conversations in the shower that may never even happen.

That’s not communication. That’s emotional chess, and you didn’t even agree to play. Gaslighting does not only happen in romantic relationships.

It can happen in friendships when someone says something rude and later says, “I was joking, why are you being dramatic?” It can happen in friend groups where your reaction gets more attention than what actually caused it. It can even happen at home when your feelings are dismissed as unnecessary drama.

Basically, if the sentence starts with “Why are you reacting like this?” instead of “Why did I do that?” take note.

Common gaslighting lines you might recognise

These phrases deserve their own playlist because they show up so often.

“You’re overreacting.”
“That never happened.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“Why do you make everything such a big deal?”

Hearing these once in a while is normal. Hearing them every single time you speak up is not.

How gaslighting usually makes you feel

Gaslighting often leaves you feeling confused and weirdly guilty. You might apologise even when you’re not sure what you’re apologising for.

You may stop bringing things up because explaining yourself feels tiring. Staying quiet starts to feel easier, even though it shouldn’t.

If silence feels safer than talking, something is off.

Gaslighting versus normal disagreements

Disagreements are normal. Different opinions are normal.

In a healthy disagreement, someone might say, “I don’t see it that way, but I get why you felt bad.” In gaslighting, the response sounds more like, “Why are you like this?”

One response listens. The other shuts things down.

If someone keeps making you doubt your memory, your reactions, or your feelings, pause and notice it. You’re not “too much.” You’re just responding to something real.

You deserve relationships where you can talk without feeling like you need screenshots, witnesses, or a full presentation to be taken seriously.

Always.

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

OMG Tanisha. I can relate to you! I mean there was a time when people asked me about my boyfriend and I told them, bro, i want to focus on my studies and so I am single and people reacted like you just revealed a secret plot twist? “Really? But how?” “Are you sure?”
“Koi toh hoga.” As if a boyfriend is like Aadhaar – everyone must have one. 

But don’t worry, you Disha baba is here! I will tell you exactly what to do in such situations and how to handle them. But first off, let’s get one thing clear – not having a boyfriend or girlfriend is completely okay. You are NOT boring or weird. And no, you are not “missing out on life”. Okay. Deep breath taken. Now let’s talk.

The same old script

One major reason for this reaction is society’s obsession with relationships. Movies, reels, cousins, even random aunties have taught us that if you’re not dating, your life must be… empty. Tragic. Background music missing. 

Life is shown as a straight path where romance is a compulsory milestone. 

So when someone is happily single, people panic. System error. Page not found. Not because being single is wrong, but because it challenges what they have been taught is normal.

What they hear vs what you mean

People confuse being single with being lonely. Single is a status. Lonely is a feeling. They are not twins. At best, they’re distant cousins.

You can be single and focused on yourself, busy building your life, enjoying friendships, and liking your own company. 

And plot twist: People in relationships can be lonely too. Yes. Even with matching WhatsApp wallpapers.

Among teens, comfort with being alone is often misunderstood. Think of the person who always needs to be talking to someone, crushing on someone, or texting someone. Silence makes them uncomfortable. 

Now think of someone who is okay spending time alone, listening to music, studying, or just existing peacefully. 

The first person might assume the second is lonely, when actually they are simply comfortable with themselves. Unfortunately, self-comfort is rarely celebrated, so it gets treated as a problem.

Label lagao, please

Ever notice how some people can’t be alone for five minutes? They need someone to text. Someone to crush on. Someone to update.

Silence scares them. Now imagine someone who is okay sitting alone, studying, listening to music, or just existing without constant notifications.

Guess who gets labelled “sad”? Yep. The peaceful one. Because being comfortable with yourself is still very underrated.

People love labels. Single. Taken. Complicated. It helps them relax. When you don’t fit neatly into a box, they don’t know what to do with you. So instead of questioning the system, they question you.

But life isn’t a Google Form you must fill correctly. There is no relationship syllabus.Some people date early. Some people focus on goals. Some people don’t want the headache right now. Some people just… don’t want one. All normal.

The idea that everyone must reach the “relationship chapter” at the same time is completely made up.

Why they low-key can’t handle you

Here’s the real reason. When you’re single and fine with it, it makes others uncomfortable. It quietly asks a dangerous question: “What if happiness doesn’t need a relationship?” Instead of thinking about that, people joke, tease, or say, “You’ll change your mind.” Much easier.

Final reality check

Being single is not weird. It’s not a waiting room. It’s not a defect. It’s just a phase of life. Or a choice. Or both. You don’t owe anyone a boyfriend. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
And you definitely don’t owe society a love story at 16. You’re fine. The system is just dramatic.

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

— Myra, 16, Delhi

Hey Cutie,

Welcome to the Era of Relationship Labels™, where every kind of romantic situation seems to have its own name – and honestly, I’m here for it. Because sometimes, “just friends” or “dating” doesn’t quite cover the messy in-between stuff.

Basically, ‘It’s Complicated’ just got new names: situationships & nanoships. So let’s break it down, one ship at a time

What’s a situationship?

Welcome to the gray area of a relationship. It’s when there’s lots of talking, a bit of flirting (like joking around, saying sweet things, giving special attention), and everything feels romantic – but there’s no label. Not “boyfriend-girlfriend,” not even “we’re dating”- just “let’s see what happens” kind of thing.

So a situationship is basically a “not single but not quite dating either” kind of a relationship. 

You’re:

• Talking a lot

• Maybe even flirting or spending a lot of time together

• Possibly acting like a couple (hanging out, texting 24/7, even kissing)
  

But…

• You haven’t defined the relationship

• There’s no label

• And honestly, things can feel a little confusing
  

Think of it like being stuck on the “typing…” screen of a chat — you keep waiting for something real to show up. But let’s be honest there is no guarantee. It could be a message, or they could simply stop typing and you can do nothing about it. 

Why it happens:

Lots of people end up in situationships because they don’t want the pressure of a full-on relationship, or they’re scared to define it in case it “ruins the vibe.” Totally your choice – but it can be emotionally tricky if one person starts catching deeper feelings and the other doesn’t.

So then… What’s a nanoship?

Imagine this – you like someone a lot. You overthink every text, watch their stories on loop, and talk about them non-stop with your friends. You feel all the feels, but… there’s no actual relationship. You’ve never dated, maybe never even said how you feel.

That’s a nanoship – a relationship that doesn’t really exist, except totally in your head. No official talks, no labels, no “we’re a thing”… just intense emotions, daydreams, and maybe a few flirty chats.

Sometimes, the other person might not even know how deep you’re in.

It could be:

• A crush you’ve barely spoken to but imagine dating

• A few messages exchanged, then poof! But you still think about it constantly

• A vibe you felt strongly… but the other person maybe didn’t even notice

Nanoships are a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kinda deal.They are usually very short-lived, barely real, and mostly powered by overthinking, imagination, and sometimes a good playlist.

Why it happens: 

Because feelings are real even if the relationship wasn’t! Especially during teenage years, our brains love to romanticize. And let’s be honest – sometimes a one-sided daydream feels better than heartbreak.

So… are they bad?

Not necessarily! They’re just part of how relationships are evolving — and how people are learning what they want and don’t want.

But here’s my big-sister advice:

• With situationships – Be honest with yourself. If it’s making you feel confused, anxious, or undervalued, talk about it. Labels aren’t everything, but clarity is important.

• With nanoships – Enjoy the fantasy, but don’t get stuck there. It’s okay to daydream, just don’t ignore real-life chances for connection.  It can be fun – until it starts to hurt. So it’s important to check in with yourself: Is this real? Or just a heart-made illusion?

Quick test: Are you in one of these?

1. How often do you talk?
   A. Daily or almost daily
   B. Once in a blue moon (usually when THEY text first) 
2. Do you hang out or do couple-y things?
   A. Yup, but it’s still “undefined”
   B. Nah, I just replay that one smile they gave me six months ago 
3. Have you imagined a relationship with them?
   A. Yep, and sometimes I think we’re already halfway there
   B. I’ve imagined it 100 times… in my head… alone 
4. Do they know how you feel?
   A. Maybe? We’ve danced around it…
   B. LOL no. Not even their bestie knows I exist 

Mostly A’s? You’re in a situationship – more than friends, less than official. Time to decide if you want clarity or to bounce.

Mostly B’s? It’s a nanoship – a mini crush with max imagination. Totally normal, but maybe it’s time to focus that energy on YOU 

A mix of both, you say? Then you might be in a Situ-Nano-Ship – You’re emotionally invested like a situationship, but the other person is treating it like a background tab—open, but inactive. You feel the feels, but there’s no real action, clarity, or effort from their side. It’s like being stuck in a trailer that never becomes a full movie

Final word?

These new labels help us talk about things our parents never even had words for. Whether you’re in a full-blown relationship, a ‘ship’, or just enjoying a harmless crush, the main thing is: know your worth, communicate openly, and don’t settle for confusion if it’s hurting you.

You deserve clarity. You deserve respect. And if all else fails, talk to your bestie, eat some chocolate, and text me.

Here always,
– Disha

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

Hey there! So, you got the news about your midterms, huh? Well, grab a seat and lend me your ear, because your favourite trusted adult, Disha, is here to dish out some much-needed wisdom, sprinkle a little motivation, and get you back on track.

It’s just one exam

First off, let’s tackle the big picture: failing a midterm might sting a bit, but trust me, it’s far from the end of the world. Think of it as a speed bump on the highway of your academic journey. Take a deep breath and repeat after me: “It’s just an exam, not the end of my studies or the world, for that matter.” Got it? Perfect.

Reflect and regroup

Now, let’s dive into the deep end and talk about learning from the past. Every stumble is an opportunity to grow and learn. So, take a moment to reflect on what tripped you up. Were you putting off studying? Did you struggle with certain concepts? Identify the obstacles, and then formulate a plan to conquer them in the future.

It’s okay to seek help 

Next, it’s time to level up for the upcoming exams. Roll up your sleeves, study smarter, and give it your all. And hey, don’t shy away from having a heart-to-heart with mom and dad about it. They’re your biggest cheerleaders, even if they dish out a bit of tough love.

So, things may have gone a tad off course this time around. It’s a common pitfall, nothing to beat yourself up over. Perhaps it’s worth considering some extra support, like tuition classes asking your mom/dad to teach you or joining study groups. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

And don’t forget to touch base with your teachers. Assure them that you’re committed to bouncing back and ask for their guidance. They’ll appreciate your initiative and dedication to improving.

You’ve got this!

Now, let’s talk attitude. Your mindset can make or break your success. Keep your chin up, stay positive, and give it your all. Remember, you’re capable of achieving greatness, and this setback is just a stepping stone on your path to success.

Understanding over grades

And here’s a nugget of wisdom: don’t get bogged down by the nitty-gritty details. Focus on understanding the subjects and putting forth your best effort. The grades will follow suit.

To sum it up: learn from your missteps, put in the work, seek support when needed, and maintain a positive outlook. You’ve got this, champ! Now go out there and show those exams who’s boss!

And remember, if you ever need a pep talk or some friendly advice, you know where to find me. I’ve got your back, always. Keep pushing forward, and don’t ever doubt yourself. Peace out!

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

Just like a teen messaged me last night saying they broke up with their best friend. It’s like, no one really talks about it, right? We talk about relationship breakups all the time, but what about that kind of hurt? The one that comes when your best friend is no longer by your side.

I mean, losing my best friend? Can’t imagine—and honestly, don’t want to imagine. So, I thought, if I’m feeling this way, surely you must have felt this way too. And tadaaa! Aise thodi na main tumhe kisi problem se akele deal karne dungi.

So let’s tackle this crisis together, shall we?

1. Feel all the feels

Friendship breakups hit harder than stepping on a Lego, and it’s okay to admit it. Cry, scream into a pillow, or even vent to your diary. Let yourself feel all the emotions instead of bottling them up.

“Apne dard ko ignore mat karo, bro. Identify it, feel it and move on!”

Pro tip? Binge-watch your comfort shows (hint: Brooklyn Nine-Nine or F.R.I.E.N.D.S) or blast some Taylor and Olivia songs to get it all out. 

2. Stop the blame game 

“Was it something I said? Did I overshare? Was my vibe off?” STOP. Friendships end for a million reasons—people grow apart, life happens, or priorities change. It’s not always about something you did or didn’t do.

It’s important to remind yourself that relationships are a two-way street. If your friend didn’t communicate their issues or decided to walk away without explanation, that’s on them—not you. You can’t carry the entire weight of a friendship on your shoulders.

3. Talk it out (If You Can) 

If you feel the friendship ended over some miscommunication, take a deep breath and reach out. Slide into their DMs or ask to meet up. But keep it cool—no drama, just straight up honesty. Use this line: “Hey, I feel like we’ve grown distant, and I miss our friendship. Did I do something to upset you?” If they respond, great! If not, at least you tried.

4. Accept the unfriending 

Not every friendship can be salvaged, and that’s okay. If they’re not ready to fix things, or if they’ve made it clear they’re moving on, it’s time to let go. Holding on will only hurt you more.

Let’s be honest, Kuch log bas ek season ke liye hote hain, not the whole series. Aur ye bhi theek hai. It’s all for the plot baby!

5. Lean on other people 

Your ex-BFF isn’t your only person. And don’t let one bad experience stop you from trusting new people and experiences. Lean on your other friends, siblings (even the annoying ones), or that one cousin who gets you. This is also a great time to make new friends—join a club, take up a hobby, or just vibe with someone new. Fun Fact: Your next BFF could be someone you’d never expect, like the person you sit next to in class but barely talk to. Give it a shot!

6. Glow-up time, baby 

Here’s the tea: a friendship breakup is the perfect excuse for a you-glow-girl moment. Focus on yourself—pick up that hobby you’ve been procrastinating on, start journaling, or treat yourself to a mini self-care sesh. You’re the main character of your life, and nothing can dim that spotlight. “Apna time bhi aega my lord!”

7. Time is the real MVP 

Healing takes time, but it happens. Slowly but surely, you’ll stop missing them as much. Instead of feeling hurt, you’ll remember the good times with a smile. Trust the process, bestie. Reminder: “Time doesn’t erase memories, but it softens the edges.”

Friendship breakups suck, but they’re also a chance to grow. You’ll learn more about what you need from a friend and how to be an even better one yourself. And hey, every ending makes space for a new beginning.

If you ever feel stuck or need to rant, you know where to find me. Disha’s chai corner is always open for you. 

Love and hugs,
Disha 

Watch this video to know more:

Don’t worry, Disha baba ka gyaan has got you covered! Let’s decode this whole “love language” thing in a way that doesn’t sound like a boring lecture from your English teacher. (No shade, ma’am, but this is way more fun.)

What Are Love Languages?

Love languages are the ways people express and receive love. 

Here are the five love languages, explained in the simplest way possible:

1. Words of Affirmation
   Compliments, appreciation, and sweet texts like “You’re the best” or “You always know how to make things better.”
2. Acts of Service
   Doing things to make someone’s life easier, like helping them with homework or making them a cup of chai without being asked.
3. Receiving Gifts
   It’s not about being materialistic—it’s the thought behind the gift! A random pack of their favorite chips can feel like a million bucks.
4. Quality Time
   Hanging out together, with no distractions. Yes, that means putting down your phone (ouch, I know).
5. Physical Touch
   Hugs, high-fives, or even casually stealing their hoodie and wrapping yourself in their vibes.

Nahi samjhe? Then think of it this way: You’re at a pizza party (because, obviously?). One person feels the love when you save them the last slice (Acts of Service), another when you say, “Bro, you always pick the best toppings!” (Words of Affirmation). Someone else lights up when you sit next to them and chat while eating (Quality Time), while another friend would prefer a high-five or a hug for organizing the party (Physical Touch). And then there’s that one friend who’s thrilled when you remember to bring them their favorite garlic bread (Receiving Gifts).

The point is, everyone has a unique way of feeling cared for, and knowing their love language is like ordering the exact toppings they love—it just hits differently!

Why Are Love Languages Important?

Well brother, love languages are important because they help you show love in a way that actually makes sense to the other person. Because if you’re not speaking their love language, your efforts might not connect.

Imagine your love language is Quality Time, and you feel loved when your friend just spends time with you. But your bestie’s love language is Words of Affirmation, where they love being complimented like, “You look so good today!” or “I’m so proud of you”. 

Now if you’re all about hanging out but not saying much, they might not feel the love as much. So when you “translate” your love language into theirs, it strengthens your connection and makes sure nothing gets lost in translation. So learn their love language (Not just yours!)

How to Make It Work IRL

Here’s how you can make people feel loved their way:

1. Ask & Observe:
   Not everyone will announce, “Hi, my love language is Physical Touch.” Notice what makes them light up. Do they seem happiest when you hang out or when you bring them snacks?
2. Mix It Up:
   Use a combo! If your crush’s love language is Receiving Gifts, don’t just buy them stuff—spend time picking something meaningful. (Hello, handmade playlists or personalized keychains!)
3. Check Your Ego:
   Just because you love getting compliments doesn’t mean your best friend needs them 24/7. Step out of your comfort zone to show love their way. It’s wholesome and makes your relationships stronger.

A Little Self-Love Reminder

Your own love language matters too! Let the people around you know what makes you feel appreciated. Whether it’s an occasional “I’m proud of you” or just someone sharing their fries, it’s okay to ask for love in the way you need.

Now go spread the love—whether it’s with words, hugs, or the last piece of pizza! Catch you later!

Are you sure? 

Okay Sana, first of all heyyy! Whats up! Well you just told me that so we’ll get to that in a minute. And why would anybody hate you man! You’re such a cutie! I know I haven’t seen you, but I just know. Aree haan haan Disha knows everything. (imagine me with a smug face)

Okay so first tell me, are you sure you’re reading this right? I mean maybe you’re stressed about something and reading into it somewhere else?

I know that happens. This has happened with me too bro! I hadn’t eaten all morning and suddenly I thought all my friends hated me. It’s actually pretty normal for overthinkers like us. Our brains just work like that.

So if you really think that your teacher hates you, first of all, assess yourself. Try to find out if you did anything to anger them or disrupt what they taught.

Not easy for them! 

I mean, socho yaar teachers already have it so stressful these days with learning all these online classes and working on phones and tablets in a way they never have. It must be difficult for them too. Upar se those merciless students who make it more difficult for them.

So, taken that you’re not overthinking because of stress maybe they are? They have so much to worry about and let’s be honest, not all the students make it easier. It might seem unreasonable to you sometimes but only you can help yourself in this situation.

First thing you can do is, the next time you feel like your teacher hates you, think about what made them angry. Is it something you did or maybe somebody else misbehaved? In either case, try to think about it from their perspective and better your or your classmates’ behaviour.

Sincere efforts 

Pay attention during your lectures, the teachers work really hard for the notes and it could be frustrating when nobody is paying attention to them. Be attentive, answer the questions you can and just be a sincere student. After all, it is you who will benefit from this. Right? So what’s the harm!

And after all the effort, sincere efforts, if you still don’t feel like it’s working, try talking about it to a trusted adult. It can be your sister, brother, cousin, aunty, mom, dad anyone. Anyone who you’re comfortable with. Tell them how you feel and they’ll help you handle it. 

You can also talk to another teacher at school – one you are comfortable with – and confide in her about how you feel? You can also talk to a senior in school who is taught by the same teacher and seek his/her help. And I’m sure it will be okay. To just chill and be a sincere and focused student.

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

Hey Lyla, calm down. So many negative thoughts about yourself in one go! Your boyfriend cheated on you. He cheated. I repeat. He did the wrong thing. Why are you blaming yourself for the wrong thing that he did? And yeh words “ugly” and “not worth the love” – looks like you watched some melodramatic movie? Please do not ever call yourself ugly – never ever. 

I know how you feel. Trust me, we have all been through these heartbreaks. It feels horrible. But, girl,  trust me, it will get better. Abhi bro, you must be feeling that your life is doomed now, nothing good is ever going to happen. But this will change girl if you follow some Disha ka Gyan!  

So get ready for some Disha Baba ke tips on how to handle a heartbreak: 

Tip 1: Don’t fight the feeling

You’ve had a bad thing happen to you, and it will take time for you to recover. Take a deep breath and accept that things will be bad for a while. This does not imply that you must like it or agree with it. It simply means don’t fight something you can’t change. Instead, concentrate on healing your heart. And get this fact straight – it did not happen because of you! You are not to be blamed. So get over the guilt factor. 

Tip 2: Prioritise yourself 

Take care of yourself because you are the most important person in this situation. Eat your favourite foods ( yes, I know you lost that appetite but even for ice cream?), watch your favourite movies, or engage in your preferred activities. Try not to make yourself feel worse than you already feel. Your heart is probably a little bruised, and it doesn’t need any more abuse. That makes sense, right? 

Tip 3: Maintain your composure 

It’s tempting to lose your cool and send angry texts just like people do in movies, but take a moment to calm down before you do anything. It’s not worth it to get yourself into trouble by messing with anyone. Leave the dramatic public displays of rage to the movies and let it all out at your jog, or while dancing to a killer playlist, instead.

Tip 4: Make no decisions based on fear

Should you leave them or stay with them? It’s a tough choice. You must do what feels right. If you want to give a second chance, your choice. If not, it’s absolutely okay too, bro. But don’t let fear make your choice for you. 

It’s never a good idea to stay with someone because you’re afraid of being alone or leaving someone will make you single again. Allow yourself as much time as you need to make the decision that feels right for you.

Tip 5: Take a break from social media

It can be tempting to put your FBI skills to the test by scouring social media for that person who replaced you or to see what your ex is doing – is he happy with them? Are they posing for selfies? But, please, don’t do it. Not only that, but take a break from social media for a while. You don’t need to prove that you’re still living your #bestlife, and FOMO isn’t what you need right now.

Now that I have shared all these Disha ke tips with you, I hope you are going to be able to stick to a few of them at least; especially the last one! I don’t want you to be a broken-hearted girl for a prolonged period! 

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Please post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

Photo: Shutterstock/Person in the photo is a model. Names changed. 

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

Hey there, drama queen! So, I heard that your parents pulled a surprise switcheroo on you and now you’re headed to a brand-spanking-new school? Don’t sweat it, I’ve got your back! You may not be aware but I’ve been through my fair share of school shuffles, and trust me, it’s not as scary as it seems. Let me drop some wisdom bombs to help you easily navigate this new adventure.

First off, take a deep breath. Inhale… exhale… feel better already? Good! Now let’s tackle this one step at a time.

Embrace the change 

Alright, so maybe the idea of switching schools feels like being thrown into the deep end of a pool without floaties. But hey, change can be a good thing! Think of it as a fresh start, a chance to reinvent yourself and explore new opportunities. Who knows, you might discover hidden talents or make lifelong friends you never knew existed!

So, you’re stepping into uncharted territory – exciting, right? Sure, it’s normal to feel a bit nervous about the unknown, but trust me, the best adventures happen when you step out of your comfort zone. Embrace the unfamiliar with open arms and a sprinkle of curiosity. Join clubs, try out for sports teams, heck, even sign up for that quirky after-school activity you’ve always been curious about. You never know what amazing experiences await!

Friendship 101 

Ah, making new friends – it’s like navigating a maze blindfolded, isn’t it? But fear not, amigo! Making pals at a new school is easier than you think. Flash that winning smile, strike up conversations with your classmates and be your awesome self. Remember, everyone’s in the same boat, so don’t be afraid to reach out and make connections. And hey, if you’re feeling a bit lost, look out for fellow newbies like yourself – they’re probably just as eager to make friends as you are!

Find your way around 

Maybe the thought of getting lost in the hallways is giving you the heebie-jeebies. But worry not, my bro! Most schools have orientation sessions or guided tours for new students, so take advantage of these opportunities to familiarize yourself with your new stomping grounds. And hey, if you ever find yourself wandering aimlessly, just remember: asking for directions is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of being proactive!

Stay connected 

Just because you’re switching schools doesn’t mean you have to bid farewell to your old buddies. Keep in touch with your old pals – shoot them a text, hop on a video call, or make plans to hang out on the weekends. And hey, who knows, maybe you’ll even introduce your old gang to your new squad and form one big happy friend family!

Be your amazing self

Last but not least, remember this: you are awesome, you are capable, and you’ve got this! Embrace your uniqueness, flaunt your quirks, and don’t be afraid to let your true colors shine. You’re about to embark on an epic journey filled with endless possibilities, so strap in, hold on tight, and get ready to conquer the world, one school day at a time!

So there you have it – my ultimate guide to thriving at a new school. Just remember, I’ve got your back every step of the way. And if ever you need a pep talk, a shoulder to lean on, or just someone to share your latest school shenanigans with, your big sister Disha is only a text away. Now go out there and show ’em what you’re made of, superstar!

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

Hey there, and welcome to adulting 101 my friend! Starting college is like beginning a great new adventure. It’s normal to feel a bit nervous about making new friends and finding your way in a new place. But don’t worry, Disha is here to help you out. Let’s go through some simple and fun tips to make your college life enjoyable and easy.

Think of college as a big playground with lots of new things to try. It’s like a fun game where you can learn and make friends at the same time. Before we start, take a deep breath and relax. Ready? Let’s take it step by step and turn those nervous feelings into fun and exciting ones. Let’s get started and have some fun! 

Be open and approachable 

Keep in mind that you’re not alone in feeling unsure about making new friends in college. Every single person you are going to meet and who looks confident – has the same butterflies in the tummy that you have! So worry not mere dost! 

The trick is to be ready to meet new people. Use your best smile, be friendly, and let that be your special skill. People like being around others who are cheerful, and you have plenty of that to share. It’s like having a magnet that draws people to you. Just be yourself and let your positivity shine!

Strike up conversations  

Friendships rarely fall from the sky. Take the initiative. Start with simple hellos, inquire about their subjects, or throw in a compliment. Here are some example chats to get you started:

• In class: Hi, today’s class was so much fun. We are not worried about homework anymore in college, right? 🙂  
• At the cafeteria: Hi, what is better in this canteen – samosa or the sandwich, any idea? 
• In the library: I seriously miss my library period of school. Did you guys have one in your school? 
• During a college event: Wow, college events are so large-scale, isn’t it – this makes me miss our annual function in school. Which school are you from? 
• In the college park: I love sitting out in the sun in free periods, we could not do this in school na! 

Most people are just as eager to make friends but might be waiting for someone else to make the first move. Be that someone. Break the ice, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly connections can form.

Join clubs or activities 

Colleges are like treasure troves of clubs and activities. Whether it’s a drama club, a sports team, or a quirky hobby group, find something that aligns with your interests. It’s an excellent way to meet like-minded individuals and bond over shared passions. Plus, it’s an instant ticket to a built-in social circle.

Attend social events 

College isn’t only about textbooks and lectures; it’s a full package of social experience. Participate in orientations, parties, and events. These occasions are designed for mingling and forming connections, and they’re also a lot of fun. Don’t let the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) hold you back—dive into the social scene and go with the flow.

Embrace your uniqueness

Here’s a golden rule—be yourself. Seriously, authenticity is your biggest asset. Embrace your quirks, interests, and passions. You’ll attract friends who appreciate you for who you are, not a watered-down version. The beauty of college lies in its diversity, so celebrate what makes you unique. 

If you have a unique fashion sense, wear it with pride. It can be a conversation starter and attract others who admire your style or share a similar taste. If you’re passionate about certain subjects, don’t be shy to express your thoughts during class discussions. This can attract classmates who respect your insights and might want to explore these topics further with you.

Listen and engage

In the realm of conversations, be an active listener. Show genuine interest in what others have to say. Engage in discussions, ask questions, and let the conversation flow naturally. People love someone who makes them feel heard, and by doing so, you’re paving the way for meaningful connections.

Don’t fear rejection  

It’s important to understand that not every interaction will lead to an instant best-friend-forever situation. And guess what? That’s completely normal. Don’t let the worry of not clicking with someone immediately stop you from reaching out. If you have an awkward conversation or don’t quite hit it off with someone, just shake it off, as our beloved Taylor Swift says! 

These moments are just tiny bumps on the exciting road of college life. Think of them as learning experiences that make you wiser and more confident in social situations. Every chat, whether it leads to a strong friendship or not, is a step forward in your grand college adventure. And in no time  you will sing that song – Yaaro, yeh dosti, badi he hasin hai…

Take your time

Building friendships is a gradual process. Don’t rush it. Focus on forming genuine connections, and you’ll find your squad in due time. Just like I did mine, in college! Quality over quantity is the mantra here, my lord! 

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

Want to learn more about this topic? Here is a cool video you  can check out below: