11:00 a.m.

The CBSE website was supposed to open at 11.

It is now 11:37.

I have refreshed the page so many times that even Google Chrome is judging me personally. At one point my laptop froze and I genuinely whispered, “Please don’t do this to me,” like it was a dying character in a movie.

The website keeps showing:
“Error.”

Thank you. Very helpful. Revolutionary information.

Mumma has walked into my room at least 19 times pretending she “just came to keep clothes.” Sure. And I’m Shah Rukh Khan.

Papa suddenly cares deeply about internet speed.

“WiFi theek chal raha hai?”
“Roll number ready rakho.”
“Laptop charge pe lagao.”

BRO I KNOW.

Meanwhile my relatives have unlocked Olympic-level timing.

“Beta result aaya???”

No aunty. The Education Ministry called and said they’re waiting for my permission first.

And why does result day make the whole house feel like India vs Pakistan finals? Everybody becomes weirdly serious. Even my younger brother was sitting quietly in the corner eating Kurkure and staring at me like I was about to get voted out of a reality show.

I tried distracting myself for some time. Opened Instagram. Biggest mistake of my life.

People had already started posting:
“Hard work pays off”
“Proud of myself”
“98.6%”

Brother ewww.

I immediately closed the app because suddenly I was convinced I had failed every subject including English, which is embarrassing because this diary entry itself is in English.

By 11:42 my body had fully betrayed me.

Hands sweaty.

Heart beating way too fast.

Leg shaking like crazy.

Stomach doing cartwheels.

I kept getting random thoughts every two seconds:
“What if I fail math?”
“What if everyone scores better than me?”
“What if my result doesn’t load and technically I remain academically unborn forever?”

And the worst part is that waiting somehow feels worse than the actual result.

Because when you don’t know what’s about to happen, your brain becomes Netflix. It starts creating dramatic storylines nobody asked for.

Suddenly I was imagining:

• becoming “the disappointing cousin”
• deleting WhatsApp forever
• avoiding eye contact with society
• running away to the mountains and starting a peaceful goat farm

All before a PDF even loaded.

Apparently this whole panic mode is called the fight-or-flight response. Your brain thinks something huge and dangerous is happening, so it releases stress chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol.

Which is honestly so dramatic because no tiger is chasing me.

It’s literally marks.

But your body doesn’t know the difference. So your heart races, your palms sweat, and your brain starts overthinking every life decision you’ve ever made since Class 3.

At around 11:51, the page finally loaded for TWO seconds before crashing again.

I almost screamed.

Mumma from outside:
“AAYA??”

ME:
“NO IT LEFT AGAIN.”

By then the entire family had gathered behind me. I could FEEL people breathing near my shoulders. Why do Indian families watch results together like it’s a public event? Please let me fail privately if needed.

Then finally.

FINALLY.

The page opened properly.

My marks appeared.

I just stared at the screen for a solid five seconds because my brain stopped processing numbers. Everything went weirdly silent for a moment.

And then?

Nothing dramatic happened.

The world didn’t end.

Nobody fainted.

The ceiling fan continued spinning peacefully.

Mumma just said, “Achha hai,” after causing me emotional damage for four hours straight.

Honestly, after all that panic, the actual result felt almost anticlimactic.

But those few minutes before checking it?

Actually terrifying.

I think I aged emotionally by at least 12 years before noon.

Ok, so you might’ve read fifty articles or self-help books. Gone through three hundred motivational quotes or skimmed through some science articles on this. The truth? As overused as some of the things in this article are, they actually hold true. 

A few years ago, during the pandemic, I was also a complete screen addict. It didn’t help that we were all confined to our homes. My average screen time was 7 hours, and there were days when I would spend up to 8 or 9 hours just staring at blue light. On a holiday, my laptop and I were inseparable. When I got back from school, I’d hop on Minecraft and grind away. I was pretty much spending 80% of my day doing nothing on the screen, and most of the time, I ended up getting zero exercise. Now, this went on for about two years or so. Wake up, school, return, play video games, watch YouTube, go to bed at like 11 PM. When I think back now, I feel kind of disgusted. So, what’s changed between now and then? 

Firstly, by no means am I completely off the screen. I still occasionally spend hours doing nothing or get caught up in scrolling. I still end up procrastinating – yes, it’s far from perfect. But, at least, it’s an improvement. Here’s the science behind screen addiction – and the methods that helped me escape it (and still help me out on a day-to-day basis):

Blame it on dopamine

Ah yes – the golden word. Dopamine. You’ve probably read this many times before, yet research constantly backs this fact. Things like notifications, social media, and video games trigger the brain’s nucleus accumbens – a part of the brain responsible for releasing dopamine. This makes you feel good and makes you want to repeat the actions that lead to releasing more dopamine. 

In fact, the dopamine loop activated by screen stimuli is similar to the effects of cocaine and similar substances. Pretty quickly, this constant release of dopamine makes you crave quick rewards, which can be problematic as it rewires your brain to avoid hard work, longer periods of concentration, and expect instant gratification.

The problem here? The truth is, pretty much everything in real life requires delayed gratification. Success isn’t instant, and you don’t get instant feedback after you do something. You solve a math problem, there’s no on-the-spot confetti or a “victory royale” sign when you do it – you just crack on with the next one. So when you score high on the end-of-year exam, it’s months of quiet, consistent effort, not instant knockouts. And that’s pretty much how real life is. 

They want you hooked

It becomes harder to beat the system when you realize that the people who made the apps you’re using actually use science and psychology to ensure it’s addictive. Many social media apps and video games are deliberately designed with that goal: to keep users hooked. Behind the scenes, their teams brainstorm new ways to make users scroll… and scroll… and scroll. 

Take the example of the beloved video game, Fortnite. Battle passes, loot boxes, frequent updates – all carefully designed mechanisms to keep users playing, gradually getting them addicted. YouTube, Instagram work similarly. You swipe… and swipe… and then swipe again. 

Hey! Someone liked my post! 

Oh no… so many dislikes too…

Yeah, so it’s pretty easy to get addicted when the guys who make your apps literally want you to. 

Your brain is lazy too

Science suggests that the human brain aims to conserve energy. If a task can be done with less effort, it’ll go for it. This is fine because it can help one work more efficiently, but it quickly becomes problematic when amplified with things like social media and gaming. 

Let’s say you have an exam to prepare for. Now, studying requires active concentration and genuine effort. Scrolling through Insta? Requires nothing other than mechanical finger swiping. So your brain will probably go towards the latter. 

But research also finds that the brain thrives on challenges, too, and gains a higher sense of accomplishment after completing effortful tasks. When immersed in a deeply challenging task, the brain enters into a “flow” state, which is a state of total concentration where the brain focuses entirely on the task at hand. The activity feels rewarding and enjoyable, and the effort begins to feel effortless.

It’s easy to numb your brain scrolling or tapping away at a screen, but way more challenging to put in genuine effort. It’s harder to reach a flow state than waste time, even though you’ll feel a lot more accomplished after completing a challenging task than doing nothing. 

Ok, so that’s the bad (but real) stuff. Now, how can you escape this matrix? I’ll share a few things that significantly helped me, so hopefully they can start you on your journey from 5% productivity to at least doing the important stuff:

1. Change your mindset

Nothing will really work if you don’t begin with a change in your mindset. Go from thinking “How can I enjoy myself?” to “How can I make a real difference?” or “What’ll set me up for success?”. A good book I’d recommend is Atomic Habits, which emphasizes that the first step to breaking a bad habit is to change your worldview. Only when you personally want to do things differently will you actually make a change. 

2. Pick up a sport

Most of the time, people will just tell you: “get some exercise”. But I find it’s even more effective when you play a sport, because it’s more likely that you’ll enjoy yourself. For me, this was chess and cricket. Pick up any sport you like watching, or have enjoyed playing, and take it up seriously. Be consistent; put in an hour or more every day, and you’ll start seeing progress and feel a sense of accomplishment. 

3. Start small

It might be daunting to suddenly turn around your life in a day, so you can start with the little things. I started with: “Instead of playing Minecraft from 5:00-6:00, can I play chess instead?” and worked my way up from there. Basically, replace each wasted hour with something more useful. So instead of scrolling through reels before dinner, you can decide to revise old math concepts or go through your chemistry notes.

4. Plan your day

Ok, this is one of my father’s. He always says it helped him. It’s a habit I’m also trying to build: keeping a routine diary. Just before going to bed or after waking up, decide what you’re going to do the next day. What’s your main goal going to be? Fill up each hour of the day with meaningful activities – what are you going to do when you come from school? When are you going to revise biology? When will you eat dinner? Pack in your schedule completely so you don’t have any time to waste and meander over to the screen. It’s difficult to start habits like this, so, once again, I’d recommend the book Atomic Habits to understand the science behind cultivating and maintaining habits. 

5. Discipline > 3am motivation

Motivation is the desire to act. Discipline is the ability to act when that desire is absent. Long-term habit building and success come through building discipline, not relying on fleeting sparks of that 3 AM motivation. Nobody’s perfect in this! Focus on building discipline instead of constantly trying to whip yourself into a burst of motivation. Motivation can be that initial spark, but it’s discipline and only discipline that’ll keep you pushing forward.

Remember, everything is usually fine in moderation. You can set aside an hour a day or so to catch up on whatever you wish to do on the screen, but it’s important to practice good digital hygiene and keep track of your time. From all that I’ve read and am still figuring out (big time!) — it’s a mix of your overall mindset, discipline, and habits that will propel you forward, but hey, you find that out on your own.

Do you have any questions for Science Lab? Post them in the comments box below. We will respond to them in our upcoming articles. Please don’t put any personal information.

Hey there! So, you got the news about your midterms, huh? Well, grab a seat and lend me your ear, because your favourite trusted adult, Disha, is here to dish out some much-needed wisdom, sprinkle a little motivation, and get you back on track.

It’s just one exam

First off, let’s tackle the big picture: failing a midterm might sting a bit, but trust me, it’s far from the end of the world. Think of it as a speed bump on the highway of your academic journey. Take a deep breath and repeat after me: “It’s just an exam, not the end of my studies or the world, for that matter.” Got it? Perfect.

Reflect and regroup

Now, let’s dive into the deep end and talk about learning from the past. Every stumble is an opportunity to grow and learn. So, take a moment to reflect on what tripped you up. Were you putting off studying? Did you struggle with certain concepts? Identify the obstacles, and then formulate a plan to conquer them in the future.

It’s okay to seek help 

Next, it’s time to level up for the upcoming exams. Roll up your sleeves, study smarter, and give it your all. And hey, don’t shy away from having a heart-to-heart with mom and dad about it. They’re your biggest cheerleaders, even if they dish out a bit of tough love.

So, things may have gone a tad off course this time around. It’s a common pitfall, nothing to beat yourself up over. Perhaps it’s worth considering some extra support, like tuition classes asking your mom/dad to teach you or joining study groups. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

And don’t forget to touch base with your teachers. Assure them that you’re committed to bouncing back and ask for their guidance. They’ll appreciate your initiative and dedication to improving.

You’ve got this!

Now, let’s talk attitude. Your mindset can make or break your success. Keep your chin up, stay positive, and give it your all. Remember, you’re capable of achieving greatness, and this setback is just a stepping stone on your path to success.

Understanding over grades

And here’s a nugget of wisdom: don’t get bogged down by the nitty-gritty details. Focus on understanding the subjects and putting forth your best effort. The grades will follow suit.

To sum it up: learn from your missteps, put in the work, seek support when needed, and maintain a positive outlook. You’ve got this, champ! Now go out there and show those exams who’s boss!

And remember, if you ever need a pep talk or some friendly advice, you know where to find me. I’ve got your back, always. Keep pushing forward, and don’t ever doubt yourself. Peace out!

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

What is positive reinforcement?

Positive reinforcement is when someone encourages your behavior through praise, rewards, or support. Basically, when your parents cheer you on for doing something good—whether it’s working hard on a school project or helping a friend—they’re reinforcing that behavior. Over time, this shapes how you think and feel about yourself!

How does it help your mental health?

Let’s break it down:

1. Confidence boost

Imagine you auditioned for a school play and didn’t get the lead role. But instead of saying, “Maybe next time,” your parents tell you, “We’re so proud of how bravely you auditioned!” That’s positive reinforcement. It helps you focus on effort, not just results, making you more confident to try new things in the future.

2. Building emotional strength

Ever felt like giving up on a tricky math problem? If your parents say, “You’re really trying hard, and that’s what matters,” you’re more likely to keep going instead of quitting. Encouragement like this helps you develop resilience—the ability to bounce back from challenges—which is a superpower for mental health.

3. Stronger parent-child bond

A high-five, a warm hug, or even a simple “I’m proud of you” creates a sense of security and trust at home. This makes it easier to share feelings, talk about struggles, and ask for help when needed. And guess what? Having this kind of support reduces anxiety and stress in the long run!

4. Handling setbacks like a pro

Nobody enjoys failure, but positive reinforcement makes it easier to learn from mistakes instead of fearing them. If your parents say, “It’s okay, mistakes help us grow,” after a tough test, you’ll start seeing setbacks as part of learning rather than a reason to feel bad.

5. Better social skills

Ever been praised for helping a friend or being kind to your sibling? When parents acknowledge kindness, it encourages you to keep being a good friend. This makes social interactions smoother and helps you build strong, meaningful relationships.

6. Less stress, more positivity

Getting a “Nice try! You’ll get it next time” instead of criticism reduces the pressure to be perfect. This lowers stress and makes challenges feel manageable, helping you stay positive even when things don’t go as planned.

7. Encourages creativity & curiosity

When parents say things like, “That’s a brilliant idea!” it boosts problem-solving skills and confidence in your own thoughts. This makes learning and trying new things way more fun and rewarding!

What does positive reinforcement look like?

It’s not always about big rewards—sometimes, it’s the small gestures that count! Examples include:

• A thumbs-up for completing homework
• “I noticed how kind you were to your friend today.”
• Extra playtime for finishing chores
• Celebrating small wins with your favorite meal
• A fun movie night for consistent effort in school

Final thoughts

Positive reinforcement isn’t about fake compliments. It’s about recognizing real effort and progress, which makes you feel safe to explore, learn, and grow. So next time you feel stuck, remind yourself: progress matters more than perfection!

And hey, if you see someone trying their best, why not cheer them on? A simple “You’ve got this!” can go a long way. 

Stay curious, stay awesome, and keep learning!

Do you have anything on your mind? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not to put any personal information in the comment box.

The parent whisperer

Ria and her friends  Aarav, and Saniya, are sitting around a table piled with books and schoolwork. Ria has been in a mood because she had a fight with her parents. She wanted to go out at night on the weekend and her father said no before even listening to what she had to say.

“Seriously, guys, talking to my parents about anything important is like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded. It’s impossible”, she rants.

Aarav nods along, “Tell me about it. They never listen, or worse, they start lecturing me!”

“I just wish there was a way to get through to them without them freaking out”, adds Saniya.

Suddenly, their senior, Aditya, strolls over to their table, catching wind of their discussion. 

He grins and says, “It seems like you folks could use the ‘Parent Whisperer.'”

“The what now?”, Ria asks curiously. 

Aarav raises an eyebrow, “Don’t mess with us, Aditya. We’re serious here.”

Aditya laughs, “I’m serious too! I’ve got a trick that works every time. You just need to master the art of communication”

“What art? We do try to talk to them but they just never listen!” Saniya says, confused and frustrated with what Aditya is suggesting.

Aditya just nods, “When you’re talking to your parents, say what you need to say, and then…pause. Don’t say anything else. Don’t blabber. Just give them some time to process it and then let them fill the silence.”

Now Ria is intrigued, “Why would that work?”

Aditya grins, “Because it makes them think. They start pondering what you said instead of reacting immediately. When I wanted to convince them for a night out with friends. I did the same thing!”

Aarav smirks, “So, you’re saying we should just drop a bombshell and then go silent?” 

Be sincere 

Aditya laughs, “Not exactly. Be sincere, but remember, less is more. I told them where we were going, I gave them contacts for some of my friends in case I wasn’t reachable and asked them to trust me.”

Saniya seems thoughtful, “I guess that sounds reasonable.”

Ria nods, “Yeah, we do need to try something different. But what if this doesn’t work either?”

At this, Aditya adds, “Of course, doing this alone might not work for you guys like it did for me. But I do have some other things you can keep in mind to have a better conversation with your parents.” 

“Enlighten us, O Sincere Senior”, Aarav teases.

Aditya laughs, “Sure baalak! To start, choose a suitable moment when both you and your parents are relaxed and stress-free.”

“Yeah that makes sense” 

Talking takes two 

“My second bit of advice would be to remember that communication is a two-way street. Don’t just hear what they’re saying but actually listen and understand the concern behind that statement. This could help you explain your side better” Aditya adds.

Ria looks impressed, “Wow, I guess I never thought of it that way”

Aditya nods, “Uh huh! And try not to play the blame game while you’re at it. Instead of pointing fingers and making someone feel like they’re in trouble, try to talk to them using “I” statements. This means you focus on how you feel and what you think, rather than accusing them of something.”

“Seems like you’ve really given this some thought,” Saniya says.

At this, Aditya smiles, “I actually have. I had no idea how to talk to my parents in the beginning either. It took a lot of trial and error to make it a success and these tips really helped. And one of the most important things through this is to stay calm and patient”

“But it’s so frustrating sometimes. I just wanna scream”, adds Ria.

“I know it can be frustrating, but losing your calm will only lead to more arguments instead of any solutions. So stay patient, listen to what they’re saying and then come to a solution together. Trust me, it will make all the difference”, Aditya reassures her.

“Fine, I’ll try not to burst”, retorts Ria. 

Appreciation goes a long way 

“And yes, one more thing, don’t forget to appreciate your parents for all that they do for you. A little gratitude can go a long way. Because at the end of the day, all they have for you is love and concern and it’s always nice to feel seen and appreciated.” Aditya says.

Saniya replies, “That’s true. They make a deal even when I say I love you in my emotional moments. Guess I never thought of saying thank you for all that they do. I’ll make them a cake to show them my appreciation. I’m sure they’ll love it”.

“Well jokes aside, all this actually sounds like something we can try,” says Aarav. 

“You did it, Aditya! You made Aarav put the jokes aside. You won” laughs Ria.

The group shares a laugh as they prepare to put Aditya’s advice into action, hoping it will lead to better conversations with their parents.

Have you ever been in this situation? Share with us in the comments box below. Remember not to share any personal information in the comment boxes.

Till now, I had never taken an exam so seriously. But 10th boards? Oh boy.

Suddenly, Maths started feeling like a supervillain. Many of my friends had joined coaching classes, but I knew there was no magic wand that could make me a Math genius in just a month. My marks were fine, yet this time, the fear was unreal.

Every time I sat down to study, the numbers seemed to spin in my head. Math had always stressed me out, but this time, it felt unbearable.

One day, while struggling with trigonometry, I got so frustrated that I ended up tearing multiple pages from my notebook. In desperation, I called a friend for help, and to my surprise, he solved the problem in just one attempt. That’s when I suddenly recalled a famous dialogue from 3 Idiots—“Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai, par dost first aa jaye toh zyada dukh hota hai!” and I started overthinking everything again.

Collapsing in class!

As pre-board exams started, my anxiety reached its peak. One day in class, while writing an exam, I suddenly started sweating—in the middle of January! It was freezing outside, but I was drenched in sweat. Before I knew it, I fainted.

When I woke up, mumma was standing there, looking super worried. And like a true bechara beta, I immediately started crying, “Mumma, I can’t do this! I’ll fail Maths!”

Mumma didn’t say much—she just took me home. The next day, I gave my other exams, but I had officially skipped my pre-board Maths exam. (RIP my confidence!)

Mumma steps In!

A few days later, my mumma checked my Math notebooks and noticed something surprising—my calculations were correct, but I just couldn’t solve the entire problem.

She sat beside me and said, “You’re doing well in other subjects, but why does Math make you so anxious? You know you can’t pass 10th without Math, right? It’s not optional yet!”

I sighed and said, “Mumma, I just don’t get trigonometry. If the final exam has too many trigonometry questions, I won’t be able to do them.”

That’s when mumma gave me her golden advice—focus on the topics I found easier. Math is not just trigonometry; there are many other topics too! She suggested that if I wasn’t comfortable going for extra coaching, I could take home tuition instead.

This simple advice reduced my anxiety a little, but what truly helped was when mumma started studying with me and took a few mock tests at home. My scores improved slightly—at least enough to pass! And that’s when my stress finally started to fade.

Mumma’s magical tips!

Now that my board exams have begun, let me share Mumma’s legendary survival hacks with you:

•  Break your studies into chunks – Don’t try to devour the whole syllabus at once. Study in small parts & take chill breaks.
• Revise smartly – Write stuff down, make bullet points, and if needed, study with music (lofi beats are life!). 
• Breathe, bro! – Feeling like your brain is on fire? Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and chill for 5 minutes.
• Sleep or suffer. – Late-night study marathons won’t make you Einstein. Sleep for 7-8 hours or risk forgetting everything. 
• Positive mindset = OP Results – Keep saying, “I got this!” It sounds cheesy, but trust me, it works!

Final thoughts

Bro, these tips saved my life. If you’re also freaking out over exams, don’t panic—just chill, breathe, and study smart.

Do you have anything on your mind? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not to put any personal information in the comment box.

After school—Rohan and Ishan—are sitting on the last bus seat heading home. Rohan looks distracted, staring at the ground.

Ishan: Bro, you look like someone stole your lunch during break. What’s up?

Rohan: Nothing.

Ishan: Liar. Jaldi bata.

Rohan: It’s just… I don’t know, man. I was hanging out with my class friends yesterday and I felt super left out. Everyone was laughing at inside jokes I didn’t get, talking about stuff I had no clue about. I was just sitting there, nodding like a background character.

Ishan: Ah, classic NPC(non playable character) behavior.

Rohan: Exactly! I felt like an extra in my own friend group. Am I just boring, or are they secretly all bored of me?

Ishan: Chill, dude. No one’s bored of you. This just happens sometimes. And chances are they didn’t even realize you were feeling this way.

Rohan: Yeah, but it’s not just once. It’s been happening a lot. They’re making plans without me, cracking jokes I don’t get… I feel like I don’t fit in anymore. I feel like a clueless outsider.

Ishan: Okay, first of all, I can see that you have not overthought this AT ALL? And second, have you actually tried, you know, talking to them about it?

Rohan: What am I supposed to say? “Hey guys, remember me? Your forgotten friend?”

Ishan: Or… you could just mention that you’ve been feeling a little out of the loop. Like, casually. I bet they don’t even realize it.

Rohan: What if they think I’m being needy?

Ishan: Dude, everyone feels left out at some point. It’s normal. If they’re real friends, they won’t think it’s a big deal. I mean, I’d want to know if I was making a friend feel that way.

Rohan: Hmm. Maybe.

Ishan: Also, do you even know what half their conversations are about?

Rohan: Not really. They’re always talking about some new show or game.

Ishan: Bro, there’s your answer. Maybe check out what they’re into. Not saying you have to fake it, but sometimes just knowing what’s up helps.

Rohan: So, what? Binge-watch their favorite show overnight and show up tomorrow like, “Hey guys, I’m one of you now”?

Ishan: No, genius. Just take an interest. Ask about it, join in when they’re talking. They’ll notice.

Rohan: And if they don’t?

Ishan: Then maybe you’re trying to fit in with people who don’t make the same effort for you. I mean, we’ve been best friends for years, and I don’t remember needing inside jokes to enjoy hanging out.

Rohan: True. You and I mostly bond over food.

Ishan: Exactly! And food never leaves anyone out. Unlike some people.

Rohan: Okay, I get it. I’ll try talking to them, maybe make more effort to join in. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just hang out with you and eat my feelings.

Ishan: Solid plan. But also, don’t overthink it, man. You belong, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

Rohan: Yeah… thanks, bro.

Ishan: No worries. Now, pass me the chips before I start feeling left out.

Would you like to share your feelings with TeenBook? Send us your thoughts in the comments box! Remember, not to put any personal information in the comment box.

My teen brain followed the simple logic: If it has nothing to do with studies or academics or if it is not assigned as homework, why in the world should I even bother to write it down? Why? And is not the whole idea of cramming up the details of Renaissance and Reformation; of displacement reactions (bleh) and all the sins, cos’s, and tans of the world; of the human reproductive system; of the real and virtual images caused by mirrors and let me not begin with Shakespeare and all those paryayvachi words – enough as practice in writing?!

No? Really?? Mom and Dad, you are delusional I tell you!

My parents would just resign in helplessness and feel satisfied that I was at least putting pen to paper for my studies. 

After a few years, in an independent incident, when I had my first crush and was petrified to tell my folks – I chose to use my pocket money which was a mere 15 bucks at that time (yes ‘ONLY’ 15 bucks for the month. Stop the gasps please. It was around 1994) to buy a journal. It was a pretty journal, that had a brass-coloured lock. It had a beautiful pink butterfly with mauve-colored wings with a little gold dust sprayed over it. It was so pretty! Oh! The dreams I wrote in that journal, of cute scenarios I would picture myself in with my crush. Pictures of how we would hold hands and walk together around the jogging track while discussing our favorite MTV video and the latest song that played on it. How we would go to MG Road Pune and share an ice cream. How we would celebrate Valentine’s Day and give each other roses and let the whole class know that we were meant for each other forever and ever.  And then how one day we would get married!! Hahaha, looking back at these memories makes me smile with love at my young self. 

One day my mom found this journal, and after a forced scolding she made me sit down and understand the similarity between what I was already doing and what she had been suggesting all along. She showed me how the habit of writing had helped me imagine scenarios albeit with a boy – something she did not approve of. 

Nevertheless, it involved the practice of writing. 

Writing – a practice that allows you to put your thoughts to paper. In doing so, you think before writing to make sense of what you are writing. This allows for your thoughts to line up and take up time and space in your head before spilling out on paper. 

When my mom made me understand the concept of writing in this way, it hit home! I have lost count of the number of journals and diaries I have filled up in my four-plus decades on this planet. Today I do not waste my time on thinking too much, I choose to write it down and park it for some time. By evening, the issue that made me write about it in the first place, sorts itself out. 

Here’s how writing can help you too:

1. List your tasks: Forgetting assignments? Never again! Write them down, and you’ll always know what’s next.
2. Get ahead on your college application essay: Start small—write 50 words a day. It won’t seem so big when the time comes.
3. Vent and relieve stress: Sometimes, you just need to get things off your chest. Writing can help you vent without stressing about talking to someone.
4. Plan your goals: Write down your goals and break them into smaller steps. It’s easier to work towards them when you can see a clear path.

Of course, writing can mean a hundred things to a hundred different people. What it means to you; you will only know when you put pen to paper. 

Maybe it means creative writing for you. Maybe you write to create stories or poetry. Even for that, you will have to write tons of stuff to arrive at your final draft, which again will get revised so many times right?

What if you are the kind that writes only for yourself? If that is the case, you’ll see how just by writing regularly, you will discover so much about yourself through the years. Your writing will show you how you have evolved over the years. You will see patterns that keep repeating and things that you want to retain, and others that you need to let go. 

Even if you’re not into writing, give it a shot for a week! It can help you understand your thoughts and feelings—both the ones you share and the ones you keep to yourself. When you read it later, you’ll see how it clears your mind and might even help solve your problems. 

In my experience, writing just like exercising has proved to be one of the most powerful practices. Years pass and I look back at the progress I have made over the years to become so much better at so many things. It could not have been possible without data. This data for personal evolution lies in documenting your thoughts through writing regularly as a practice. 

I would urge all of you youngsters to begin early. Habits formed earlier on in life allow for space to do larger and bigger things in life! 

Kanika Kush, TeenBook’s Parent Expert, offers teens a fun and relatable glimpse into the parent perspective, helping us understand what’s going on in their parents’ minds as they navigate the teen years together. Check out her YouTube  page here. 

Editor’s Note: Say hello to our new column on TeenBook, where we flip the script and give parents the mic! While TeenBook is all about helping Indian teens figure out life, this space is for parents to spill the tea, share their insights, and offer advice as they try to keep up with their teens and survive the wild ride of adolescence. It’s the parent POV you didn’t know you needed!

Send me a selfie but… 

Ronit and I used to chat on WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat, and everywhere. Our daily ritual was to exchange cute goodnight selfies before bed. But one day, Ronit’s message shocked me. 

“Love, I need to see you without a top today,” he said. I was totally caught off guard and kept reading the text over and over. My mind was racing, and I couldn’t make sense of what Ronit was asking. Was he really serious? I couldn’t understand why he would ask for something like this out of the blue! 

I tried to convince myself that Ronit must be joking. “Nah! He’s just messing with me,” I muttered to myself. I texted him with a laughing emoji and said, “Come on, I know you’re kidding.” But to my surprise, Ronit quickly responded with, “No, no, I am serious. I want to see you topless, Ananya.”

Shocked and stunned

I was startled and didn’t know how to respond. So, I chose to step away from our chat and logged off. I needed some space to wrap my head around his request and figure out how to handle it. 

As I reflected on his request, I realised that I was not ready for such an intimate step in our relationship. I had only been with Ronit for two months, and I wanted to take things slowly. So, I mustered the courage to reply to him honestly. I explained to him that I wasn’t ready for this yet, and I felt we should wait. 

Ronit sent me a sad emoji. Then he went offline without any goodnight wishes or selfies. 

“No pressure?” 

The next day things felt awkward when I saw him. I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation from the previous night. Ronit, on the other hand, acted as if last night hadn’t happened. He sat next to me not saying anything. So I asked him “What’s up?” He just replied with a hi! 

Curious, I asked him why he didn’t say goodnight, and he explained that he was a little upset because I suggested that we should wait before sharing those kinds of selfies. “It’s like you don’t trust me,” he said. 

I reassured him that I trusted him completely, but it was just something that made me feel uncomfortable. Ronit nodded and said, “No pressure”. 

Are things ok? 

The way our conversation ended last time, I thought things were okay between us. However, I did not receive any message from him at our usual time. I woke up feeling uneasy, wondering why Ronit was ignoring me. He had never done that before. Maybe he was busy or stuck in an unexpected situation. But as time went by and he still hadn’t reached out to me, I started to overthink. 

So, I sent him a sad emoji with a question mark, hoping for some kind of response. But I got nothing. It’s like my message vanished into thin air. 

Did I mess up by not sending those pictures? What if he breaks up with me?

I couldn’t shake off the feeling of dread that was building up inside me. At one point, I actually considered sending him that topless selfie. But it still felt wrong so I decided against it.

No trust in him? 

I left for college early the next day, determined to confront Ronit. I found him in the canteen and asked if we could talk. He nodded.

Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Why didn’t you reply to my texts? I sent almost 50. Were you out partying?” 

Ronit’s reply caught me off guard, “Yeah, I was at a friend’s place. I didn’t see your messages.”  

As tears welled up, I pressed on, “This hasn’t happened before. Was it because I said no?”

But he totally denied it and surprised me by saying, “No, Ananya, don’t make me out to be the bad guy. If you’re having doubts, maybe it’s best to end things.”

Fake love?

It was so obvious to me why Ronit was acting strange and why he broke up with me. I wasn’t a fool, I could see through it all. I was heartbroken and hurt. When I got home, I cried for hours. 

I couldn’t take it anymore and needed to talk to someone, so I confided in my cousin Shamita. 

After hearing everything, Shamita told me, “Broo, You made the right call not sharing those pics. Just like he went silent after you didn’t send them, maybe he would’ve done the same if you had. At least you stood your ground..”

“Trust me Ananya, it wasn’t true love if he had such a cheap and nasty demand. Someone who likes you would never put you in an uncomfortable situation like this. So, let that fake love go,” she added. 

As Shamita’s words sank in, I pulled her into a tight hug. A sense of comfort settled in me as I felt good about my decision and relieved that I could move on.

Shutterstock/Person in the photo is a model. Names changed

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It was one of those weeks when everything seemed to pile up. School assignments, basketball practice, and a history quiz—all screaming for attention. Add to that my bestie Riya asking for help with her science project and my cousin insisting we binge-watch the latest drama series. By the end of the day, I felt completely drained. Like, zero energy left to even think straight.

That night, as I flopped onto my bed, my older sister Aditi noticed something was up. “You okay?” she asked, sitting next to me.

I sighed. “I’m just so tired, Didi. I feel like I can’t keep up with everything. Everyone needs something from me, and I just… I can’t say no.”

Aditi grinned. “Ah, the art of saying no. Guess it’s time you figured it out.

Why saying no feels so tough

The next day, we grabbed some chai, and Aditi shared her wisdom. “Saying no feels hard because we think it’ll hurt people or make us look rude,” she explained. “But here’s the thing—you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you keep saying yes to everything, you’ll end up drained like this all the time.”

Her words hit home. She was right. Saying no didn’t mean I was selfish; it meant I was setting boundaries to take care of myself.

Aditi’s no-nonsense advice

Aditi gave me a step-by-step breakdown of how to say no without feeling like a bad person:

1. Start small
   She told me to practice with little things. “Next time Mom asks you to help with dinner while you’re studying, just say, ‘I can’t right now, maybe later.’” That felt manageable, and I decided to give it a try.
2. Blame the clock
   “Time is always a good excuse,” Aditi said. “If a friend asks for help and you’re swamped, just say, ‘Sorry, I’d love to, but I’ve got too much going on.’” That sounded way less harsh than a flat-out no.
3. Suggest a plan B
   When Riya called asking for a last-minute mall trip, I said, “Not today, but how about Saturday?” Aditi said this trick shows you still care but are prioritizing yourself too.
4. Say It with confidence
   She even made me practice saying no in front of her. “Say it like you mean it, without feeling guilty,” she instructed. “No need to over-explain.”

Putting it to the test

The next week, I tried out Aditi’s tips. When my little brother asked me to play video games while I was finishing an essay, I calmly said, “Not now, maybe after dinner.” He gave me a pout but moved on. Riya asked for help again, and instead of stressing myself out, I used the Plan B method. By the weekend, I noticed something incredible—I actually had time to breathe. I wasn’t as exhausted anymore.

Why saying no is a game-changer

Saying no didn’t make me lose friends or disappoint anyone. Instead, people seemed to understand, and my boundaries started being respected. Most importantly, I felt like I was finally taking care of myself. I had more time for things that mattered to me, whether it was catching up on Netflix or prepping for school without last-minute panic.

The takeaway

If you’re feeling as drained as I was, trust me—it’s okay to say no. Start small, stay confident, and remember, you’re not being selfish. Setting boundaries helps you protect your energy and focus on what really matters.

That night, as I journaled about my week, I felt lighter, calmer, and proud of myself. Aditi was right—saying no is truly an art. And now, I was ready to master it.

Catch you next time,
A recharged, boundary-setting teen.