1. Google Map of the gang

You are the one with spatial intelligence. You never get lost because you always remember directions! This means you’re also awesome at thinking in abstract (good at solving puzzles) and in multiple dimensions – just like Dr Strange and his metaverse! 

2. Shakira or Sharapova of your group
   
   You are the one bodily-kinesthetic intelligence! This is all about using your body in cool ways. Dance like Shakira and play like Sharapova! You’re a hands-on learner who excels in physical activities. Whether it’s dancing, sports, or anything that requires hand-eye coordination, you rock at it! 
3. The Prateek Kuhad or Charlie Puths of the group

Are you the one who is a go to person in the parties, gatherings and get-togethers when someone says – arre gaana ho jaye! You are the one with musical intelligence! If you have this intelligence, you’re a natural when it comes to rhythm, pitch, and melody. You can spot musical patterns, recognize notes, and easily recall songs. Your sense of rhythm is on point!

4. Move aside Shakespeare 

You are the one linguistic intelligence! You could also be labelled the grammar nazi but having linguistic intelligence means you have a deep appreciation for words and their meanings. You love storytelling and debating and have a vivid imagination. Learning new languages? Piece of cake for you!

5. Sheldons of the gang  

If you enjoy solving puzzles, playing chess, or diving into scientific experiments, logical-mathematical intelligence is your jam. The Big Bang Theory could possibly be your favourite show! You’re a logical thinker who loves cracking mysteries. A favourite of your Maths teacher, maybe? 

6. Bring on Ranveer Singh 

You are the one blessed with interpersonal intelligence! This means you’re a people person and make friends easily. You easily understand other people’s moods, feelings, and motivations. Being a great team player and a natural leader, people love talking to you because you’re so relatable! 

7. Hermione – More than just a nerd

Intuition matters and that’s what makes Hermione so brilliant at her skills. People with Intrapersonal intelligence work hard. You would often enjoy working alone and trust your intuition. This one is all about knowing yourself. You’re highly self-aware and in touch with your own feelings, goals, and anxieties. 

8. Bear Grylls of the gang 

Last but not least, we have naturalistic intelligence. You have a deep connection with nature and can understand all its amazing details. You probably have a pet – a cat or a dog or a balcony full of plants! You’re the go-to person for identifying plants, animals, and anything related to the natural world. Outdoor activities and exploring nature are your happy places.

So, that’s the scoop on multiple intelligences! There is no one way to be intelligent and our brains can be smart in so many cool ways! So, embrace your individual type and keep unleashing your amazing talents. The world is waiting for you to shine! Keep exploring and rock on! 

Do you have any questions for Science Lab? Post them in the comments box below. We will respond to them in our upcoming articles. Please don’t put any personal information.

Dear Diary,

I heard somewhere that not everyone is down because of breakups with a boy or a girl. Some may not be okay because of problems they can’t even share or don’t know exist.

Most of our sadness seems to hide in our unconscious mind. We don’t always know why we’re sad, but we are. It’s like sadness is on its way, so we keep getting ready for it by staying quiet. It’s weird, isn’t it? 

We all want to make our lives look as beautiful as possible, but what if we romanticise our emotions too? Our emotions, whether it’s happiness, sadness, or anxiety, none of them are bad. Sometimes, we don’t even know how we’re feeling. When I’m anxious, my hands shake, and I think it’s just a way of expressing those hidden emotions deep inside me. It’s a form of expression.

Too sad to talk and smile

Once, I was feeling down, and it felt like everyone was talking about me behind my back, making fun of me and my loneliness. They asked me why I’m always sad and not having fun like others. I felt terrible about myself, like I was the worst person ever just because I was too sad to talk and smile like everyone else. I still don’t know how to express myself and laugh like others, and I still get blamed for no reason. I still feel so small in front of those who seem so perfect.

But are they really happy, or are they just pretending? Of course, they’re pretending, but then I wonder, why make fun of those who aren’t okay? Is it wrong to be depressed? Is it bad not to be okay? Do they want me to pretend and hide my true feelings?

Yeah, they want to talk about something, but not this. They see themselves as superior, even though they’re also hurting inside but just not showing it.

“You’ll be fine!”

In today’s world, where every little issue is raised, why not talk about mental health? Why do they call me foolish or an idiot when I say I’m not doing well? Why do they feel sorry for me? Why does my family brush it off and say, “You’ll be fine tomorrow,” when I say I’m depressed, but they rush me to the doctor when I have a fever but not when I’m not okay?

How can we expect everyone to be healthier when we don’t even talk about it?

Confidence is not about being strong 

But here’s what I can say, Diary: there’s so much more to life than what we eat or where we think we might be. Just be true to yourself. Confidence isn’t always about being strong and facing everything head-on. Confidence can also be found in being humble and quiet. We don’t have to know everything to be confident. We don’t need to bring others down to feel superior. We don’t need to fake anything.

Just connect with your true essence, and say what you genuinely feel. Everyone is trying to make up for something, but I’m making myself. Find all the unique gifts that make you, cherish them, and learn what you don’t know. Stay kind and authentic because when you’re true to yourself, you become unique and exquisite.

Yours truly,

Saloni

Names have been changed. This article has been authored by a member of our TeenBook Advisory Board (TAB). To learn more about what TAB is and how to join, please click here. 

To learn more about this, check out this video below:

The parent whisperer

Ria and her friends  Aarav, and Saniya, are sitting around a table piled with books and schoolwork. Ria has been in a mood because she had a fight with her parents. She wanted to go out at night on the weekend and her father said no before even listening to what she had to say.

“Seriously, guys, talking to my parents about anything important is like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded. It’s impossible”, she rants.

Aarav nods along, “Tell me about it. They never listen, or worse, they start lecturing me!”

“I just wish there was a way to get through to them without them freaking out”, adds Saniya.

Suddenly, their senior, Aditya, strolls over to their table, catching wind of their discussion. 

He grins and says, “It seems like you folks could use the ‘Parent Whisperer.'”

“The what now?”, Ria asks curiously. 

Aarav raises an eyebrow, “Don’t mess with us, Aditya. We’re serious here.”

Aditya laughs, “I’m serious too! I’ve got a trick that works every time. You just need to master the art of communication”

“What art? We do try to talk to them but they just never listen!” Saniya says, confused and frustrated with what Aditya is suggesting.

Aditya just nods, “When you’re talking to your parents, say what you need to say, and then…pause. Don’t say anything else. Don’t blabber. Just give them some time to process it and then let them fill the silence.”

Now Ria is intrigued, “Why would that work?”

Aditya grins, “Because it makes them think. They start pondering what you said instead of reacting immediately. When I wanted to convince them for a night out with friends. I did the same thing!”

Aarav smirks, “So, you’re saying we should just drop a bombshell and then go silent?” 

Be sincere 

Aditya laughs, “Not exactly. Be sincere, but remember, less is more. I told them where we were going, I gave them contacts for some of my friends in case I wasn’t reachable and asked them to trust me.”

Saniya seems thoughtful, “I guess that sounds reasonable.”

Ria nods, “Yeah, we do need to try something different. But what if this doesn’t work either?”

At this, Aditya adds, “Of course, doing this alone might not work for you guys like it did for me. But I do have some other things you can keep in mind to have a better conversation with your parents.” 

“Enlighten us, O Sincere Senior”, Aarav teases.

Aditya laughs, “Sure baalak! To start, choose a suitable moment when both you and your parents are relaxed and stress-free.”

“Yeah that makes sense” 

Talking takes two 

“My second bit of advice would be to remember that communication is a two-way street. Don’t just hear what they’re saying but actually listen and understand the concern behind that statement. This could help you explain your side better” Aditya adds.

Ria looks impressed, “Wow, I guess I never thought of it that way”

Aditya nods, “Uh huh! And try not to play the blame game while you’re at it. Instead of pointing fingers and making someone feel like they’re in trouble, try to talk to them using “I” statements. This means you focus on how you feel and what you think, rather than accusing them of something.”

“Seems like you’ve really given this some thought,” Saniya says.

At this, Aditya smiles, “I actually have. I had no idea how to talk to my parents in the beginning either. It took a lot of trial and error to make it a success and these tips really helped. And one of the most important things through this is to stay calm and patient”

“But it’s so frustrating sometimes. I just wanna scream”, adds Ria.

“I know it can be frustrating, but losing your calm will only lead to more arguments instead of any solutions. So stay patient, listen to what they’re saying and then come to a solution together. Trust me, it will make all the difference”, Aditya reassures her.

“Fine, I’ll try not to burst”, retorts Ria. 

Appreciation goes a long way 

“And yes, one more thing, don’t forget to appreciate your parents for all that they do for you. A little gratitude can go a long way. Because at the end of the day, all they have for you is love and concern and it’s always nice to feel seen and appreciated.” Aditya says.

Saniya replies, “That’s true. They make a deal even when I say I love you in my emotional moments. Guess I never thought of saying thank you for all that they do. I’ll make them a cake to show them my appreciation. I’m sure they’ll love it”.

“Well jokes aside, all this actually sounds like something we can try,” says Aarav. 

“You did it, Aditya! You made Aarav put the jokes aside. You won” laughs Ria.

The group shares a laugh as they prepare to put Aditya’s advice into action, hoping it will lead to better conversations with their parents.

Have you ever been in this situation? Share with us in the comments box below. Remember not to share any personal information in the comment boxes.

Send me a selfie but… 

Ronit and I used to chat on WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat, and everywhere. Our daily ritual was to exchange cute goodnight selfies before bed. But one day, Ronit’s message shocked me. 

“Love, I need to see you without a top today,” he said. I was totally caught off guard and kept reading the text over and over. My mind was racing, and I couldn’t make sense of what Ronit was asking. Was he really serious? I couldn’t understand why he would ask for something like this out of the blue! 

I tried to convince myself that Ronit must be joking. “Nah! He’s just messing with me,” I muttered to myself. I texted him with a laughing emoji and said, “Come on, I know you’re kidding.” But to my surprise, Ronit quickly responded with, “No, no, I am serious. I want to see you topless, Ananya.”

Shocked and stunned

I was startled and didn’t know how to respond. So, I chose to step away from our chat and logged off. I needed some space to wrap my head around his request and figure out how to handle it. 

As I reflected on his request, I realised that I was not ready for such an intimate step in our relationship. I had only been with Ronit for two months, and I wanted to take things slowly. So, I mustered the courage to reply to him honestly. I explained to him that I wasn’t ready for this yet, and I felt we should wait. 

Ronit sent me a sad emoji. Then he went offline without any goodnight wishes or selfies. 

“No pressure?” 

The next day things felt awkward when I saw him. I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation from the previous night. Ronit, on the other hand, acted as if last night hadn’t happened. He sat next to me not saying anything. So I asked him “What’s up?” He just replied with a hi! 

Curious, I asked him why he didn’t say goodnight, and he explained that he was a little upset because I suggested that we should wait before sharing those kinds of selfies. “It’s like you don’t trust me,” he said. 

I reassured him that I trusted him completely, but it was just something that made me feel uncomfortable. Ronit nodded and said, “No pressure”. 

Are things ok? 

The way our conversation ended last time, I thought things were okay between us. However, I did not receive any message from him at our usual time. I woke up feeling uneasy, wondering why Ronit was ignoring me. He had never done that before. Maybe he was busy or stuck in an unexpected situation. But as time went by and he still hadn’t reached out to me, I started to overthink. 

So, I sent him a sad emoji with a question mark, hoping for some kind of response. But I got nothing. It’s like my message vanished into thin air. 

Did I mess up by not sending those pictures? What if he breaks up with me?

I couldn’t shake off the feeling of dread that was building up inside me. At one point, I actually considered sending him that topless selfie. But it still felt wrong so I decided against it.

No trust in him? 

I left for college early the next day, determined to confront Ronit. I found him in the canteen and asked if we could talk. He nodded.

Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Why didn’t you reply to my texts? I sent almost 50. Were you out partying?” 

Ronit’s reply caught me off guard, “Yeah, I was at a friend’s place. I didn’t see your messages.”  

As tears welled up, I pressed on, “This hasn’t happened before. Was it because I said no?”

But he totally denied it and surprised me by saying, “No, Ananya, don’t make me out to be the bad guy. If you’re having doubts, maybe it’s best to end things.”

Fake love?

It was so obvious to me why Ronit was acting strange and why he broke up with me. I wasn’t a fool, I could see through it all. I was heartbroken and hurt. When I got home, I cried for hours. 

I couldn’t take it anymore and needed to talk to someone, so I confided in my cousin Shamita. 

After hearing everything, Shamita told me, “Broo, You made the right call not sharing those pics. Just like he went silent after you didn’t send them, maybe he would’ve done the same if you had. At least you stood your ground..”

“Trust me Ananya, it wasn’t true love if he had such a cheap and nasty demand. Someone who likes you would never put you in an uncomfortable situation like this. So, let that fake love go,” she added. 

As Shamita’s words sank in, I pulled her into a tight hug. A sense of comfort settled in me as I felt good about my decision and relieved that I could move on.

Shutterstock/Person in the photo is a model. Names changed

“To learn more about the topic, do check out this cool video :

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No matter how strongly you make a strict time table with shiny pens in your diary that you will sleep at 11:00 pm and wake up at 6 in the morning, teenagers tend to break this rule all the time! Snoozing all day and awake all night! Neend hee nahi aati! But it is not entirely your fault.

Puberty to blame?

​​All teenagers undergo many changes during puberty – both mentally and physically. However, one important change that also happens during this time of puberty is your sleep. Your circadian rhythms change. Wait, what rhythm?
According to the Sleep Foundation, circadian rhythms come from the Latin word – “circa diem” which means “around a day” in English. So these are 24-hour cycles that are part of our body because of an internal clock that carries out various bodily functions.
Before puberty, teens feel sleepy around 8:00 or 9:00 pm. When puberty hits around the age of 11-13, this rhythm shifts a couple hours later. Now, their body tells them to go to sleep around 10:00 or 11:00 pm. This is a very natural shift in a teen’s body and is called “sleep phase delay.” The requirement for sleep is delayed for about two hours.
When it first happens, the teens find it tough to sleep at their usual time, hence you eventually begin to sleep late. This change is a normal part of adolescents but you should make sure that you do not further delay your sleep by distracting ourselves with gadgets.
Let’s look at some other reasons why teens sleep late:

Time pressure

Frequently preoccupied with multiple assignments and homework to the point of exhaustion, may result in many teens failing to allocate adequate time for sleep. You may stay up late during the week to complete homework or on weekends to hang out with friends, both of which can reinforce the night owl schedule.

Excess use of electronic devices

Sleeping problems can be amplified by late-night screen time. Using these devices can keep the teenage brain wired and incoming notifications can disrupt and fragment sleep. Evidence also suggests that exposure to cell phone light suppresses melatonin production.

Sleeping disorder

Teens can suffer from sleep disorders such as Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), which causes a strong urge to move the limbs when lying down, and narcolepsy – chronic sleep disorder characterised by overwhelming daytime drowsiness and sudden attacks of sleep; which affects the sleep-wake cycle.

Neuro developmental disorders and mental health problems

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder (ASD)20 – a type of mental disorder, can make it difficult for teenagers to sleep well. However, that can be diagnosed by a doctor only.

Anxiety and depression, for example, can make it difficult for teens and adults to get enough sleep. Inadequate sleep can also contribute to these conditions, creating a bidirectional relationship that can exacerbate them.

The way out: How to sleep on time

Create a study plan

One of the most effective ways to prepare for exams is to create a study plan. Start by reviewing your course syllabus and exam schedule. Then, create a schedule that allocates your study time based on the topics you need to review, how much time you have until the exam, and your personal study preferences. Divide your time between subjects and topics based on your strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you are strong in math, allocate less time to it, and more time to a subject that you find challenging.

Take breaks and manage time

While it may be tempting to study for long hours, it is important to take breaks regularly to avoid burnout. Plan short breaks during your study session to relax, stretch or meditate. Additionally, make the most of your time by prioritizing the most important tasks. For example, if you have a test on Monday and a project due on Friday, prioritize studying for your test over working on your project.

Get enough sleep and exercise 

Taking care of your physical health is essential for exam success. Make sure you get enough sleep, and aim for at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night, as this can help you feel more energized and focused during your exams. Additionally, exercise regularly, even if it’s just a quick walk around your neighbourhood. Exercise can help reduce stress and anxiety, which can help you perform better in exams.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. Remember that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and we all progress at different paces. Focus on your own progress and work on improving your own abilities. Additionally, avoid comparing your exam scores with your classmates, as it can create unhealthy competition and make you feel more stressed.

Stay positive

Believing in yourself and your abilities is essential for exam success. Stay positive and remind yourself that you can achieve your goals with hard work and determination. Additionally, focus on the progress you’ve made so far and avoid dwelling on the mistakes you’ve made. If you’re struggling with a particular topic, seek help from your teachers or tutors.

Practice relaxation techniques 

Deep breathing exercises, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation through yoga are all great ways to help you manage stress and anxiety during exams. Practice these techniques daily, so you are familiar with them when a panic attack occurs. Practising them daily also builds our body’s capacity to deal with stressful situations. 

Identify the triggers 

Panic attacks are a common occurrence during exams, and it is essential to know how to manage them. If you know what triggers your panic attacks, you can prepare for them in advance. For example, if you know you get nervous during timed exams, practice taking practice tests under timed conditions to help you get comfortable with the time pressure. 

If you are scared of a particular subject such as maths, and these attacks happen only during that particular exam, then prepare for the subject way before the exam and seek external help. Do a lot of practice sheets and take many timed exams and get them checked by someone. Sleep enough and eat something before the exam day. 

Visualize a positive outcome 

Visualizing a positive outcome can help you feel more confident and less anxious during exams. Close your eyes and imagine yourself successfully completing the exam, and receiving a good grade. This can help you feel more optimistic and less anxious during the exam.

Seek help 

If you are experiencing severe anxiety or panic attacks during exams, which hinder you from performing or is making you fall sick, don’t be afraid to seek help. Talk to your parents, teachers, or a mental health professional to help you develop strategies to manage your anxiety.

 Exams can be a source of stress and anxiety, but with the right strategies, you can perform well. Best of luck! 

Photo: Shutterstock/Shyamalamuralinath/Person in the photo is a model/Names changed.

Do you have any questions that are bothering you? Share with us in the comments box below. Remember no rude words or personal information in the comment box! 
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Teenage relationships can be both exciting and confusing. For many teenagers, it may be their first experience of romantic love, and the rush of emotions that come with it can be overwhelming. However, not all relationships are healthy. Some may involve behaviour, which may make you upset and unhappy. It is important to identify such behaviour early on in your relationship and address it immediately to prevent it from impacting your mental and physical health, just as it is impacting Tanisha’s. 

Unhealthy relationships can take many forms, and they may not always be easy to recognize. However, there are some common signs that may help you figure out if you are in one: 

1. Unpredictable behaviour — The inability to predict your boyfriend/girlfriend’s behaviour, or uncertainty about where you stand in relation to them, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If your boyfriend/girlfriend undergoes severe mood swings – being gentle and caring one moment and threatening and angry the next – there’s a problem. They might try to make you believe these mood swings are your fault, and if you just did something differently they would be a more gentle and caring person. You might end up staying with them, hoping to see the side you love while spending most of your time being hurt. 
2. Controlling behaviour  — Your boyfriend/girlfriend might pressure you to become more involved with them faster than you are comfortable with or ready for. Granted, sometimes your boyfriend/girlfriend may feel more for you sooner than you do, but if they are disrespectful towards your feelings, trying to force you into something you’re not ready for, this should set off alarm bells. Later, such coercion/controlling behaviour may lead to demands that you change things about yourself that they don’t like ( like how you dress, your friends or even your hairstyle!). Or they might force you to do things you don’t want to do, like getting intimate with each other too soon, when you are not mentally ready for it. Such coercion is a sign of emotional manipulation and an unhealthy relationship.
3. Jealousy/Possessiveness — A little jealousy is cute at times, but it can easily turn into something ugly. A possessive boyfriend/girlfriend may make you feel guilty for spending time with friends or family, will call or text you an excessive amount of times throughout the day and may often accuse you of flirting or cheating without reason. All of these are signs that they feel a sense of possession over you. Soon, you may be asking for approval for every decision you make, and control over your own life will slip away as their power over you grows.
4. Feeling of loneliness — A relationship should open your soul, not bring about an intense feeling of isolation. If you avoid bringing your boyfriend/girlfriend around friends or family because you’re afraid they will humiliate you, or if your boyfriend/girlfriend has tried to cut you off from loved ones in an attempt to control your life, this isolation is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
5. Verbal abuse — Verbal abuse is abuse and should not be tolerated. If your boyfriend/girlfriend constantly criticizes you or says cruel things to you, insults you, curses, calls you ugly names, or uses your vulnerabilities to hurt you – it’s not just unhealthy, it is abuse.
6. Making you overly dependent —  Be wary of someone who begins taking over your responsibilities in order to make you more dependent on them. Dependence means to control, and a boyfriend/girlfriend who attempts to control you – either physically or psychologically – is an abusive person. Does your boyfriend/girlfriend often disappear at times without explanation, wreaking havoc on your mind and throwing your life into disarray? This is a sign that you have become overly dependent and that your boyfriend/girlfriend is using that dependence in an unhealthy way. 
7. Declining sense of self-worth —  Does your boyfriend/girlfriend make you feel bad about yourself, often putting you down or making you feel stupid? Have you begun to see yourself as worthless, or even crazy because of them, as though you’re the one with a problem? If you try to fight back, does he/she blame you for their behaviour, claiming you’re the reason they’re acting the way they’re acting? This unhealthy behaviour may extend to all aspects of your partner’s conception of themselves – blaming you, for example, for bad grades or for their unhappy or unfulfilled lives, making you feel responsible for their failures. Don’t put up with it. Take action!
8. Threats, blackmail, physical hurt — Threats of violence can be just as bad as physical violence and should be seen as a warning sign. “Do this and you will see the bad side of me.” or “You b******, how dare you leave me”. If your boyfriend/girlfriend ever threatens you or sends you abusive text messages you should consider ending the relationship immediately. Never tolerate threats or intimidation. No matter how much you love your boyfriend/girlfriend, if you’re afraid of them, you have a problem.

Photo: Shutterstock/Asier Romero/Persons in the photo are models and their names have been changed. 

“To learn more about the topic, do check out this cool video :

Do you have anything on your mind? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not to put any personal information in the comment box.

Hey Lyla, calm down. So many negative thoughts about yourself in one go! Your boyfriend cheated on you. He cheated. I repeat. He did the wrong thing. Why are you blaming yourself for the wrong thing that he did? And yeh words “ugly” and “not worth the love” – looks like you watched some melodramatic movie? Please do not ever call yourself ugly – never ever. 

I know how you feel. Trust me, we have all been through these heartbreaks. It feels horrible. But, girl,  trust me, it will get better. Abhi bro, you must be feeling that your life is doomed now, nothing good is ever going to happen. But this will change girl if you follow some Disha ka Gyan!  

So get ready for some Disha Baba ke tips on how to handle a heartbreak: 

Tip 1: Don’t fight the feeling

You’ve had a bad thing happen to you, and it will take time for you to recover. Take a deep breath and accept that things will be bad for a while. This does not imply that you must like it or agree with it. It simply means don’t fight something you can’t change. Instead, concentrate on healing your heart. And get this fact straight – it did not happen because of you! You are not to be blamed. So get over the guilt factor. 

Tip 2: Prioritise yourself 

Take care of yourself because you are the most important person in this situation. Eat your favourite foods ( yes, I know you lost that appetite but even for ice cream?), watch your favourite movies, or engage in your preferred activities. Try not to make yourself feel worse than you already feel. Your heart is probably a little bruised, and it doesn’t need any more abuse. That makes sense, right? 

Tip 3: Maintain your composure 

It’s tempting to lose your cool and send angry texts just like people do in movies, but take a moment to calm down before you do anything. It’s not worth it to get yourself into trouble by messing with anyone. Leave the dramatic public displays of rage to the movies and let it all out at your jog, or while dancing to a killer playlist, instead.

Tip 4: Make no decisions based on fear

Should you leave them or stay with them? It’s a tough choice. You must do what feels right. If you want to give a second chance, your choice. If not, it’s absolutely okay too, bro. But don’t let fear make your choice for you. 

It’s never a good idea to stay with someone because you’re afraid of being alone or leaving someone will make you single again. Allow yourself as much time as you need to make the decision that feels right for you.

Tip 5: Take a break from social media

It can be tempting to put your FBI skills to the test by scouring social media for that person who replaced you or to see what your ex is doing – is he happy with them? Are they posing for selfies? But, please, don’t do it. Not only that, but take a break from social media for a while. You don’t need to prove that you’re still living your #bestlife, and FOMO isn’t what you need right now.

Now that I have shared all these Disha ke tips with you, I hope you are going to be able to stick to a few of them at least; especially the last one! I don’t want you to be a broken-hearted girl for a prolonged period! 

Got a question or a doubt? Then come Ask Disha! The coolest Trusted Adult in India, Disha, will answer all your queries on Growing Up! Please post them in the comments box below or send them to our Insta inbox! Disha will respond to them in upcoming columns. Please remember not to put out any personal information. 

Photo: Shutterstock/Person in the photo is a model. Names changed. 

#AskDisha is an advice column run by the editorial team at TeenBook India. The advice given in the columns is science-based but general in nature. Parents and adolescents should seek help from a professional or expert for specific concerns or issues.

First day of school 

Every person in the room laughed at me, except the teacher.  I was on the verge of tears. I kept looking down wondering why the kids were laughing at me until the teacher told the students to be quiet and told me to sit. It was my first day at my new school. As the norm, everyone had to introduce themselves.  

I still remember how my classmates and other kids teased me after the teacher left; calling me ‘totlu’ or the kid who stammered.  I always went home crying. 

My parents hired a professional speech therapist who specializes in vocal cord issues. Some sessions with him helped me speak a few words which I couldn’t earlier. Honestly, that was a great achievement but I still had problems saying some words correctly in a sequence.

Fear for strangers 

Over the next few years, I became more introverted, insecure, and quiet. My inability to speak fluently also made me scared and extremely nervous to talk to strangers which eventually made me open up less to people. I hardly socialized, which created a barrier between my inability to communicate and my desire to make new friends. 

I was not always like that. As a kid, I was eager, and friendly and used to make friends with all people. But as I grew older I became less and less open to people because of my inability to communicate.  

Appreciating silence

But not everything about it was negative, as it put me in the un-social zone. I started reading books and became a better listener and an observer, but still to this day I am not good at socializing in the first meeting and am not a talkative person. 

But my condition has also helped me to appreciate the silence. I would want to give my best to turn this weakness into one of the greatest strengths I possess.

Shutterstock/Alexander Image/Person in the photo is a model. Names changed.

Do you have anything on your mind? Share with us in the comment box below. Remember not to put any personal information in the comment box.

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Hello, feelings 

All of us go through a lot of feelings throughout the day. Our mind and body are home to a good deal of emotions. Some stay on permanently while some keep coming like guests and others are also unwanted.  

Now even when unwelcome guests come, we still greet them, sit with them, offer them tea and coffee and be there during their visit. Don’t we? Because we never know how and when we might need them in life. It’s always good to stay connected.

The same logic works with our feelings. We need to connect to our feelings so that we can better understand them because these emotional guests are often reminders that our minds and body need attention. 

Are you low because you are hungry or scored low in your exams? Are you tired because of a hectic schedule or because you haven’t been sleeping enough? Do you feel like crying all the time because of your bodily changes or is it because of a situation at home? 

It is important to understand and label your emotions so that you can work towards managing your feelings in a way that allows you to function properly. 

How to understand your feelings?  

Engaging with your feelings will help you understand them better. Here are a few tips. 

• Ask yourself – Do you notice a feeling at a particular time of the day? Is it at school? Is it at home? At a tuition class? It will help you understand the root cause of your feelings. 
• Now be a bit creative and ask what your feelings look like. What colour, how big, does it have a voice, does it feel warm, cold, hot, or rough or smooth? This will allow you to gauge the intensity of your feelings. For example, a red and rough textured feeling may indicate to someone that the feeling they are having is intense and they need help. A blue and warm feeling may let you know that it will pass. These colours, their significance and intensities could be different for different folks. 
• Depending on their intensity, you can work with some feelings on your own; if you are having a bad day at school and feeling lonely, you spend some time with your best friend during lunchtime. 

When to seek help

At times, some highly intense feelings decide to stay with us, and it is time to talk to someone trusted about it, and sometimes it can be a teacher, parent, or counsellor. Strong feelings like hopelessness, frustration, feeling inferior, terrified, and the like need to be addressed. These feelings might become very strong and interfere with our daily lives like school, home, relationships, etc. 

Here are some tips to overcome these overpowering feelings: 

1. Look in the mirror and compliment yourself daily; start your day by feeling good about yourself. If something brings in feelings of inferiority, ask yourself, what are you good at? 
2. Engaging in a calming activity, like dancing, painting, or talking to your parents, a teacher, a counsellor, or a friend, can help you with your mood, and you can think clearly. 
3. Journaling about your day might also give you clarity and space to safely express your feelings. 
4. Identifying where the feeling is strongest or heaviest in your body and shrugging it off sometimes helps you relax and think ahead. 

The underlying message that our feelings give us is to acknowledge them. Pause, reflect, and act. Start exploring your emotions today. 

Photo: Shutterstock/Rawpixel.com

Arshi Alam is a Psychologist and Teen Counsellor at a prestigious Gurgaon School. 

Have a query? Ask our experts! In this column, we take questions from adolescents and their parents on growing up, adolescence, puberty and everything in between; and put them to subject matter experts. 

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